The weekend's drawing closer and I'm really looking forward to the trip to Lille. We leave on Friday lunchtime and I can't wait. After the past couple of weeks, which have been very stressful, I can't wait to get away with Jan, Sandy and Elaine. My nephew rang me yesterday, having been contacted by Ian, he wanted to reassure me that the recent happenings were inevitable and that I shouldn't blame myself. Ian will be home in two weeks and has invited his cousin over for dinner one evening.

No more e mails and I'm beginning to feel a bit less sick about the situation that has arisen. Last night an American supper at the home of Elaine & Brian. The company was excellent and the food amazing. I vacated our bed in the middle of the night for the spare room as Steve's snoring was louder than usual. Today a trip to the garden centre and not much else planned, apart from catching up on last night episode of Dr Who, can't say I like Catherine or is Katherine Tate's acting.
I have been checking the weather forecast for Lille, so far its showing wet all week with a miraculous change to sunshine and 17c on Thursday, perhaps that will be the start of a great few days. I have looked out my passport and 50 Euros over from previous trips. Oh it would make such sense if we gave up the pound along with the rest of Europe.
Well I'd better go and get out of my pj's.

Because of the events of the past week and other messages received today, I have decided that I have to step back from a relationship that has now gone pear shaped. I would very much have liked this to work out, but I don't need the confrontation and the unfair accusations that have been levied at me. I rate myself as a reasonable sort of person. My immediate family are the most important people in my life. I have very good friends who's friendship I value. Steve has now read the messages and he is cross at the way I have been treated. Tonight I'm going out and I'm going to have a glass of wine or two or maybe more!

The last week has been very mixed. A lovely weekend when Dot visited, but downhill from then! On Monday I received the first of a string of e mails from my half sister. The first being accusational, I somehow have turned into the Villain of the piece! What prompted this was that I was unable to accept an invitation for Steve and I to go over to dinner! The explanation that I had given was seen as prevaricating and that Steve didn't want to go. In part true, Steve is reluctant, but the reason I gave of Steve doing more travelling and that weekdays weren't easy to predict where he would be was absolutely true. The e mails have passed between since Tuesday, I have tried to be understanding, to apologise for any hurt that may been caused, but every mail I have received has been more and more confrontational. I haven't replied to the last yet. I talked to Ian about it, he gives wise counsel, I have only briefly mentioned it to Steve without going into detail or showing him the correspondence, he is suffer ring with a bad back, had an A/F episode and has the consultants appointment tomorrow. I don't want to cause him any unnecessary stress!
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After a couple of weeks of worrying, today I saw a gynaecologist. I came away with good news, the symptoms I have been experiencing have no sinister cause. Whatever the cause, I wasn't given a clear explanation! The Doctor who I saw had absolutely no communication skills and his spoken English was poor. While I am sure that the man was highly qualified in his field, am I totally unreasonable to expect to understand what is said by the medic who is treating me. I had received in the post a six page questionnaire, when I tried to give it to the Dr he didn't want it. Why had I bothered carefully filling in all the most intimate details of my medical history. Should I complain?

On Monday Steve and I celebrated 29 years of marriage. We had an evening out together, we had a drink at 'The Custom House' followed by a meal at 'Cafe Rouge' at Gunwarfe Quays. It was a lovely evening. We have a great life, but it seems rarely that just the two of us go out together. Unfortunately I was sick all night, was it food poisoning or a bug? I was in bed all day yesterday. I spent the time dozing, looking look across the Solent at the Isle of Wight, reading and I even watched a dvd. Its was glorious day, just right for a walk along the beach, but I didn't go anywhere. It was a work day, but I called in sick as I defiantly shouldn't have gone anywhere near anyones precious little babies! Fortunately today is my day off, so I can take it a Little easy today as still feeling a little wobbly at the moment. I had decided against doing any 'bank' hours today as Dot is arriving on Friday for a long weekend and I had planned to get things ready for her visit. Steve & I are both looking forward to seeing her. Oh I did manage to organise an online Tesco shop from my sick bed which will arrive on Friday morning, hopefully before Dot.

Rebecca has asked if we would look after her two babies overnight in July, they will be 20 months and 6 months by then. I'm really chuffed that she feels happy to leave her precious children with us. Being late to parenthood, means that Rebecca's children only have one grandparent. Mari is a doting Granny, but has arrived at Grannyhood in her 70's which means that she isn't able to look after both her grandchildren for that period of time. Rebecca has suggested bringing them here, but it may be better if we go to their home. Plenty of time to sort it out.

It may be April, we may live on the South coast where the climate is mild, but this morning we had snow. I awoke at about 8.00am when it was sleeting, within fifteen minutes the snow was falling in big chunks. It only snowed for about an 1.5 hour, but long and hard enough to leave a good covering. The local children were out building snowmen and the slipway which is used to launch sail boats was being used for skiing. Its been cold for the rest of the day, but the sun has shone and the snow has melted. We had home made soup for lunch, it had been in the freezer since Christmas and it was just the thing to warm us up.
Today I have planned a trip with three girlfriend to Lille in May. We shall stay for three nights and travel by car through the tunnel. I love doing things with Steve, but I feel so liberated when I do things with the girls. (well not quite girls). These three particular girls are friends that I have made since our move here four years ago, their husbands sail with Steve and we have fun in other ways. What blessings!
Tomorrow I'm going to Romsey to have lunch with my sister Annie.

I don't seem to get to writing this blog very often, although I am fortunate to have plenty of time which working part time allows for, somehow there is never enough time for everything. I write mostly for me, Janis is the only person who knowingly reads my entries and I can't believe my little jottings would interest anyone else.

Yesterday I took my Mother to the opticians, where we spent two whole hours, firstly her sight test and then the choice of 4 pairs of glasses. I recently have taken to wearing varifocals. My changing eyesight meant I needed specs for driving, computer work and reading. After ordering my glasses various people warned me of how they had tried and failed in the use of them. I have to say how liberating they are as they allow me to see and I don't have to keep changing specs. I don't suppose I will ever do it as I'm very squeamish, but I'm actually not against Lazar surgery that people have to correct their vision. As I get older I realize that my eyesight is so valuable.

After the opticians we took a trip on the Gosport ferry and went to Gunwarfe. After a few hours of following my Mother in and out of shops I was exhausted. Did she get the dress she was after? No! Did she say she wants a trip to Southampton? Yes, eeeek perhaps she can persuade her friend Beryl to accompany her.
Last week we made the decision to help Matt out financially, to give Matt his credit he didn't ask for help and he has taken on a second job. Matt will pay us back and hopefully we will have avoided a CCJ against him.
Steve has made the choice to take on a different role at work. He is going back to a technical role which he loves in preference to the one he is doing which is leading him deeper into management. So as well as the commitment to Matt we have had to go down the path of a second car. We have managed well with one for a year, but as Steve will have to do a lot more travelling its back to being a two car household:(
Steve has had a relatively minor heart condition for 20 years. About twice a year Steve would have a couple of episodes where his heart would go into A/F and beat erratically for a few hours. More recently its been happening twice a month, which I'm sure the stress of work has attributed to. Anyway on Easter Saturday he had a particularly worrying episode and after much nagging he has seen the GP and is awaiting an appointment with a cardiologist!
We have put any long trips on temporary hold! Three friends and I are planning a long weekend in Lille in May. We haven't yet booked, but are planning going by Eurostar.