Its Saturday evening and I have not long returned from a very long stint of serving refreshments at the sailing club. I stank of the bacon I had been cooking all day, so a soak in the bath and a hair wash was in order. I'm now laying on the sofa with a glass of wine by my side. Dinner will probably be a quick pasta, I don't have the energy to do anything else.
Steve arrived home in the early hours from his weeks sailing in the national championships, he and his crew again did well, they aren't up with the champions, but won the 'endeavour' prize. Along with a rather tacky trophy Steve won a new cover for his boats from 'Laser', the competitions sponsor, so he is delighted.
Were on holiday this week, we plan to make our way up to see Matt at the end of the week and then on to Ian. I'm very excited at the thought of seeing them both. We have booked a night in a hotel in Oxford on the way up and hope to look up some friends in Clophill when we arrive in Bedfordshire.
Tomorrow I will collect my Mother from Southampton airport, she has been to visit a friend in Glasgow for the last ten days. I have invited friends for dinner in the evening and will do a roast, its just not something you can't do for just two people.
Goodnight, my book and bed beckons.

What a relief to finish work today for some annual leave. It will be twelve days before I return to work. Its been very full on recently and I'm looking forward to some relaxation.
Yesterday was a really strange day. The weather was atrocious, heavy rain and severe winds. While driving back to the office after a visit I saw too magpies and immediately thought of the superstition 'one for sorrow, two for joy'. Two minutes later I was proceeding along tree lined Manor way when a huge tree blew down across the road in front of me, If I'd be seconds earlier it would have come down on me and my car! Last night I had to telephone a friend as I inadvertently locked myself in my bedroom. Earlier in the week the outside bedroom door handle had come off and last night I had forgotten to put it into place before I'd gone to bed. I had gone up early to read, Steve was away and its a luxury I enjoy. At about 10.30 I decided to go downstairs and make myself some hot chocolate and that was when I found I was stuck in the bedroom. The predicament was: did I just go to bed and wait until the morning before getting help or did I get help then. I could have managed the night without going anywhere as fortunately we have a little 'en suite', but as my imagination was working overtime( the house could burn down with me in it), I decided to call in the troops . Because Steve is away I had taken both the house phone, a mobile and the house keys up with me. I rang Sandy and she gallantly sent round her husband Paul. I threw the keys out of the bedroom window to Paul who let himself in the front door and released me from my prison.

This evening five girlfriends are coming round for supper. Its funny saying girlfriends when we are all in our 5o's. I'm sure like me, they find it hard to think of themselves as more than middle aged!!! I have prepared ahead a pasta dish, one of Delia's cheats which we will have with home baked garlic bread and a green salad. Jane is bringing a dessert and as I expect from experience it will be creamy and chocolaty, so I have prepared a fruit salad for those of us who want something a little less rich . I have bought a couple of bottles of a sparkling Pink Bellinger which I really like. I know some more bottles will arrive with my guests, but three of us will be working tomorrow, so I'm sure we will be very sensible.

Steve is in Penzance for the week and I'm home alone and loving it! Now don't get me wrong I love Steve and being with him, but the selfish side of me really enjoys a little me time. When the boys were quite young Steve would take the boys away in the summer to his father's home, where they'd meet up with Mike and the cousins and have a great time. There week would be sailing, swimming and barbecues and mine would be quiet, lots or relaxation and doing only what I want to do. I have been on my own since yesterday and although I will be working this week the rest of the times my own. I have been out for coffee with a friend this morning and this afternoon I'm going to watch an old black & white movie on TCM.
Our trip to Salcombe next week has been cancelled and did I cheer loudly? Yes. Steve has also declined going with the group of guys so we have a week together to look forward to. We are planning to see Matt and then Ian at the end of the week which will be the icing on the cake.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed our sailing holiday in Greece last year, I had reluctantly agreed that I would join some friends on their boat and sail to Salcombe. The main reason I didn't want to go was because of the cramped conditions and the lack of privacy, also the weather cannot be relied on and I didn't want to be at sea in a storm on a small vessel. Today while out shopping with a friend, Steve rang me to tell me that the trip had been cancelled. Straight after the phone call Steve sent me a text to say that he had heard me cheer before I had hung up:) He was right I did cheer as I told Elaine of my reprieve!!
At the time of the call I was in TJMax, a shop that until recently I'd had no experience. Wow what a shop, lots of stuff, some rubbish I'm sure but some really good bargains. I bought a set of Champagne glasses for £8.00, they were a well known brand and when I got home I checked them out on the web and they were selling in John Lewis for £34.00, what a bargain.
Ian is excited as he has had another paper published, he's also writing a piece that he hopes will get into New Scientist.
Another 'writer ' in the family e mailed me to tell that her book will be published in September. I was also informed that her second book will include e mails she received from Steve about recent events. I am sure that they will used out of context and not portray truthfully recent happenings. In the same correspondence I am informed that against her 'legal advise' she won't be taking legal action against both my Mother & husband. I cannot stop myself reading this ladies blog, recently she wrote that I was ignoring her, not surprising as not many weeks ago we were threatened that we would be sued for defamation & harassment if we made contact.

Its now Monday morning and I'm feeling refreshed. I slept solidly from 9.oo pm last night until 7.30 am. Today I plan a very lazy day, its only 9.30 and I'm sitting out in the garden under the umbrella. Bliss!

Thursday evening turned out to be beautifully warm and balmy, just right for the barbecue with Elaine & Brian.
As I'd said earlier in the week, summer seems to have arrived at last and it may continue for a few more days.
Steve & I have been looking after our niece & nephew for the weekend. Steve has come back with a cold and I'm feeling shattered. The two little ones were amazingly happy, considering it was the first time they had ever been left overnight. Maisie at 19 months is an absolute poppet, she is feisty, funny and accepted her parents absence without any fuzz. Vince at 6 months is a happy delightful little baby, he smiled, laughed, puked and poohed to excess. Vince still has formula in the night, so I was prepared for being up in the small hours. At my suggestion Steve happily slept in the spare room. Vince sleeps in his cot at the foot of his parents bed and that's where I spent the night. After a very busy day, we were very successful in getting both children into bed for 7.00 pm. Maisie went happily to bed after Steve had read her bedtime story. Steve & I had a Chinese take away before we retired separately. Steve slept reasonably well on a deflating airbed.
My night was busy, a 'dream' feed at 10.00pm did in fact go like a dream and the little guy slept through it and was deposited safely back in his cot where he slumbered until Midnight. This waking wasn't in the routine that Rebecca had left, it was obviously far too early as his next feed wasn't scheduled until 2.00pm. A quick nappy change and thankfully Vince went back to sleep until 3'o'clock when he was fed again and again returned to his cot. I'm not sure how much I actually slept as it was the hottest night of the year and the windows needed to be open to let in some air and the residents of Leigh on Sea seemed to be partying through the night. Maisie was woken a couple of times as the occupants of a house somewhere over the back from her bedroom were having a barbecue that went on and on and on. Maisie was easy to settle, reassurance, a dummy and her favoured 'blankie' and she soon went back to sleep. Vince woke at 5.00 and as his schedule stated is the time he comes into the parental bed, this is what he did and we dozed together until 7.00 am when Maisie was nosily awake to begin her day.
The morning was a hive of activity, washing, dressing, breakfast and a walk to the park. At noon when both children were settled for their naps, I took the opportunity and had a little snooze. At 3.00pm with Simon & Rebecca both in charge, we took our leave to drive home separately as I'd gone up a day ahead of Steve to get familiar with Maisie & Vincent.

Elaine & Brian Called in this afternoon with ice cream to refresh us on this very hot afternoon. Steve arrived home early, so we have arranged an impromptu barbecue on the beach. Would you believe the sun has gone in and the sky is now overcast and was that thunder I heard in the distance? More later.............................

Were having a summer, how long will it last? Who knows, but I'm really enjoying it and will do so while its here.

Wow, its been a glorious day today, has our summer arrived at last? I have been out for most of the day with Elaine to Gunwarfe. We mossied around the shops, didn't buy too much, well a pair of Birkenstock sandals and a skirt for me, both in the sale and a real bargain. The best part was being out with a friend, the chatter and the laughter & the companionship. Elaine is a new friend, by which I mean I didn't know her before our move to the coast, though I know we will always remain friends.

I'm a little on edge as the time limit of 30 days is up. 3o days in which, if an apology is not received by a certain woman from my Mother & husband before they will apparently be sued for defamation & harassment. I'm hoping that it is an empty threat as I'm certain that the certain party could not win such a case, but the time, cost and effort it would take to defend ourselves would be such a waste.

I'm now back home & awaiting the grocery delivery, oh the wonder of the Internet, which allowed me so much more time today to do the things I wanted to do. Has Steve's disappearance to the boat yard got anything to do with the fact that the Tesco delivery van has just arrived and the shopping will need putting away.

I'm looking forward to a little bit of time off work, after tomorrow I'm taking a weeks leave. On Friday I'm going up to look after Maisie & Vincent. Steve will come up on Saturday so if we have two unsettled babies we can share in the pacing the floor! Am I nervous, you bet. I have brought up two children, looked after endless others, I give advice everyday as part of my work to parents, but this seems such a big responsibility.

Gosh, I can't believe it's 10 days since I have written here, but it is. Doesn't time fly when your enjoying yourself! Our social life potters on nicely, most weekends we have things going on. Work is horrendously busy, but then its the NHS. Were short staffed throughout the Fareham & Gosport area, so we are being asked to cover other areas and to deliver only the 'core programme' of work. This morning I taught a group of new Mum's how to massage their babies. It seems that this is the last class I can do until the staffing crises eases, its a shame as I think that new Mum's groups are very beneficial.
After Tuesday next week I have a weeks holiday (at least our leave can't be stopped)! I don't have much planned, except at the end of the week we will go to Lee on Sea to look after Maisie & Vincent. I'm anticipating a weekend with two babies will be quite exhausting, so I have a couple of days off afterwards to recuperate.
Steve is sailing at Chichester tomorrow & Sunday, I have nothing planned except a visit to the library, I intend to be very lazy and do very little.

On Saturday we had a barbecue in honor of Steve's 49th birthday. The weather was overcast but the rain stayed away and we were able to sit outside until late. We had a lovely evening with friends. Although we didn't go to bed until nearly 2.00am we were up at 7.3o am as a gale was blowing and we needed to take down the 'Gazebo' (tarpaulin shelter) before it blew away in the wind. Apart from clearing up after the party I did very little yesterday. I lazed on the sofa, read, dozed and watched the Wimbledon final on television. I admit I could only dip into it as watching for 4 hours and 48 minutes was just too much.

Its been nearly a week since I have been online. My laptop which I admit wasn't an expensive one, bought from Tcheibo has died. It did me good service for nearly three years and now I have a new one. Steve ordered it online about midnight last Wednesday and it arrived on Friday and we didn't even pay for express delivery.
Its been a really busy time. The weekend before last it was the sailing club centenary and I was invited along with Elaine and Jane onto Roshann and Richard's boat. It turned out to be a very luxurious yacht, certainly 'my type of sailing', particularly the champagne lunch, so much more pleasurable than the last time I was out on the water.

On Sunday we attended the christening of Ellie, granddaughter of my longest friend Janis. It was a lovely to be part of this lovely celebration and to be with Janis and her family.

Work continues to be manic, each month we have a meeting with our manager to address the staff shortages and every month she makes a work plan and goes away again for another month. Does anything change? Yesterday she came and went the same as usual. One of my colleagues asked me if I'd like to join her on a march in Brighton to protest at our pay award. I said no, I;m not militant and actually more than pay is the real issue. Staff shortages and resources are what affect my colleagues and I most.
Last weekend Linda was here and we had an enjoyable time. She returned back to Bedford on Sunday night, with a bit of glow to her skin. We hadn't realised how warm the sun was on Sunday as we walked along the seafront, there was a heavy wind which made it feel quite cool. Linda and I went to Lymington & Lyndhurst in the New Forest on Saturday and in the evening we stayed at home and watched the film 'The girl with the pearl earring'.

Steve had a really busy weekend as he was responsible for arranging a class event at the sailing club for laser 2000's. Because the wind was 'windy'! not too many competitiors took part, but those who did, really enjoyed it. Steve was happy that it was successful.
It was Steve's birthday yesterday and we celebrated with breakfast at 'The Bluebird' a seafront cafe. Steve sails on a Tuesday, so we wouldn't have had time to celebrate last night. Bacon sandwiches before work was a nice treat, certainly shouldn't become a habit. Next year Steve will be 50, so there will be bigger celebrations.

Friday the 13th and I'm not particularly superstitious, but it didn't start well!

Steve was awake from the early hours with his heart in an irregular heartbeat. We decided to visit the nurse at the surgery to get a trace as the consultant said it would be useful to him in his treatment of Steve's condition. The ECG was done, it showed Steve's heart wasn't in A/F but it was behaving in a very peculiar manner. Back home Steve rested for a few hours, he didn't improve and was feeling very unwell. We have been back and seen a locum GP who was very thorough. Steve's heart rhythm was this time in A/F and he's been sent home to rest. If he gets worse or becomes more unwell I have been advised to get him to hospital! Am I worried? Yesterday I spent the afternoon doing resus training, fingers crossed that I won't have to put it into practise.

Gosh, what a week. Work is absolutely manic, staff off sick, staff on secondment and staff off on annual leave. I worked four days this week and even popped into the office to make some calls this morning while Steve was in with the nurse.

On the A front it has gone a bit quiet. Steve had a nice e mail from Christo, saying that when he and his girlfriend have their new home straight, they only moved in last week, they would like to invite us over for a meal. I have resisted even reading his Mother's blog and thank God I didn't ever tell her of mine!

Ian is due back in Sheffield today after his trip to Japan, I'm sure he had a wonderful experience.

Matthew rang excitedly in the week as he has been promoted and has had a 7k pay rise, not bad, he's been there six months and this is the 2nd raise in that time! I'm very proud of him as he is obviously working hard and has proved himself to his employers:).

The morning after the weekend's sailing and I had to go to work which is an unusual occurrence for a Monday. I was awake early as I had slept very soundly. My whole body ached when I got up and eight hours later it's aching even more. Let my resolve never to go in a single handed dinghy remain strong, I just need to remember the pain. Fortunately I had only to go to work for a half day which I was spending out with a colleague from the mental health team. We had a good morning visiting her clients, it was ok sitting in houses or being driven in Sue's car, but oh I could have cried when I had to walk up three flight of stairs to her office and it was even worse coming down. The last time my muscles ached this much was when I climbed Mount Lomond!

I have reached the conclusion that dinghy sailing isn't for me. I have spent the weekend doing the RYA course. The weather has been beautiful, two warm sunny days spent on the Solent or at times in it. The first day we were sailing in larger dinghy's with two students and an instructor, at the end of the day I managed to capsize the boat and we all ended in the water. Today was the time when we took to the water in singlehanded boats, all on our lonesome. I spent a great amount of time getting wet. Twice I fell out of the boat and endless times I capsized the boat. The most spectacular capsize was when I Collided with another trainee and not only turned turtle my boat, but that of his as well. Fortunatly Chris took his dunking by me in good spirit. The culmination of the course was to beable to sail a triangular course, this I failed miserably. I won't be taking the opportunity to do the assesment again. It took me four goes to pass my driving test, the conseqences of not succeeding would have caused me great inconvienience.
I'm bruised and batterred, my muscles ache, I have been hauled unceremoniously out of the water into the rescue boat. I'm happy with my descision to quit while I'm in one piece, the consequences of not getting the level 2 will have no lasting effect on my life.

This weekend I will be doing my second sailing course, last year I did level 1. Over the course of the weekend I will attempt to get level 2. I'm not certain that I will get the certificate as I shall have to take a small boat out on my own. I have just been sorting out my stuff. Pink wet suit, Pink jacket and Pink buoyancy aid.
This morning I visited a particularly manky house, which didn't bother me too much, that is, until I discovered that I picked up some chewing gum on my skirt and got it all over the car seat! Steve thought I was having a senior moment when he found my skirt, bagged up in the freezer.
Tonight we are having fish & chips from the local, excellent chippy, we don't have them very often, but tonight three friends will join us. I bought some really nice sparkling wine from Lille and I think tonight we shall drink some.
It's been another stressful week, Steve is feeling it too, which is unusual as he doesn't let things get to him. This week he has been insulted and now accused of harassment!

I have just come back from 'Rainbows' to find Steve up in the study and as he said he's busy with his new hobby! He is replying to another e mail, he has now become the target for a certain ladies vitriol. We have taken legal advice and it seems that there is no case against us, but then we knew that. Its just sad that its come to this.

Steve went to Graffham Water in Cambridgeshire for the weekend to take part in a sailing competition. He and and Stu his crew went on Friday morning and returned late on Sunday evening, they had a great time and were triumphant in getting the 'endeavour' trophy, not for actually winning the races, but for their efforts, sportsmanship etc. Well done, especially to Stu who has only just started crewing for Steve.

I had an equally enjoyable weekend. Two nights alone in our super king sized bed, sheer heaven!

On Saturday I had a day out with friends Elaine & Janet. We shopped at Gunwarfe, helped Jan purchase a fabulous outfit for a forthcoming wedding. Sat for hours in the sunshine drinking wine outside 'Cafe Rouge'. We then headed to the cinema where we watched 'Sex & The City'. It was a really fun film which we all enjoyed. We finished the evening eating Italian food before heading home on the Gosport ferry. On Sunday I had a very long lie in, before walking up to see my Mother. On my return home I spent a couple of hours pottering in the garden and a couple of hours reading.

This morning I have spent three hours clearing out cupboards, wardrobes, drawers and the airing cupboard. Its very satisfying now it done, bags and bags for the charity shop, but there was that moment, when surrounded by chaos I thought I should have never started. Clearing out is something I tend to pitch in and do when something is causing me angst. I have received an e mail, threatening action against me if I fail to resolve satisfactorily things between me and A....! I have ignored the email, I just don't know how I can make things right for things which happened before I was born. I am being accused of metering out diabolical treatment and of emotional subterfuge!
There is I know a time when I need to speak to my Mother about this as I'm sure this lady is bound to make contact with her again.

Ian is now in Japan, I had a long chat, but didn't mention the above to him as I don't want in anyway spoil his trip. Ian will be attending a conference where he will be giving a couple of presentations.
I had a lovely Chat with Matt yesterday. He is sounding very happy with life:).

The bank holiday weekend is drawing to an end. Yesterday Steve spent the day teaching sailing, I spent the morning catching up with household chores and in the afternoon I went to see my friend Elaine, we chatted most of the afternoon. Our plan today were to stay at home, the day started with torrential rain which looked like it was set for the day. Steve spent the morning doing important stuff on the computer, I spent the morning being totally chilled, stretched out on the sofa engrossed in a book, well after all it is a holiday. By early afternoon the rain had stopped, the sun had started to shine and the urge to hibernate dissipated, so we drove to Stokes Bay and walked along the coast to Fort Gillkicker and stood at the entrance of Portsmouth harbour, before walking back in the glorious sunshine to have a drink at a little cafe at Stokes Bay. It turned out to be a glorious afternoon which would have been wasted by staying in the house. In Southsea some houses were affected by flooding and also in Southampton.

Rebecca sent a message to say that their 9 month old little puppy 'Ken' had been involved in a collision with a car this morning and sadly was killed, not sure exactly how it happenend but both she and Simon are devastated.

I have just returned from a lovely day out in the Hampshire countryside. Three friends and I went to a 'Waitrose Food Festival'. It was held in the beautiful parkland of Leckford House a property bought by John Spedan Lewis in 1928 and is still owned by Waitrose. It was indeed a festival of food. There were stalls from all over the local area, with produce sold in local Waitrose stores. I bought Steve some Hampshire Stilton from the producer who had made it. We wandered from stall to stall where there was an abundance of food to taste, cheese, wine, cider, ham. flapjacks and bread to name just a few. No wonder we didn't need lunch. We had a lovely walk in the water gardens which were abundant with colour and fragrances. Unfortunately the pollen was very strong and my eyes streamed, I'm not usually a hay fever sufferer, although a few years ago I developed seasonal asthma, but I didn't let it spoil my day out. On the way home we stopped off in the very pretty Market town of Stockbridge for a cream tea.

Another weekend approaches, it's bank holiday, not a longer weekend for me than usual as I am lucky to work part time and thus have a long weekend every week! I usually work on a Friday morning but today I accompanied Steve to see his cardiologist. Steve had his heart scanned, he and the Dr were happy for me to be there and it was pretty amazing to see the images on the screen. Steve has to go back and have an MRI, but the good news is that the chambers of his heart and his valves are all healthy. The consultant reassured us that Atrial Fibrillation isn't life threatening, but its likely that Steve's condition will be treatable in his lifetime. Steve may have to increase his medication, possibly need a pacemaker and in a few years need surgery!!! Steve wouldn't allow me to take him to get medical help when he had a really severe episode a while back, but the Dr has given advise and if another severe episode happens I have been advised to get him checked out. Steve was delighted because Dr Jones kept referring to him as young.

Tomorrow I'm off to Stockbridge which is a market town to the west of the county. Waitrose have a country house and farm there, which I believe was bought by the founder of the company in 1928. This weekend they stage an event which includes, cookery demonstrations, food tasting and a look at their farm. I'm sure I will come back with lots of goodies. I'm going with three friends, but feel a bit trepidatious, just in case I bump into A who is a big fan of 'Waitrose' and lives quite close by!

Work has been really hectic, were even more short staffed and with a colleague on holiday its been hard going. I have been taking antibiotics for an annoying infection and could have easily had a day or two off, but the guilt of leaving colleagues in a worse state meant I went in. I wasn't contagious, but I was feeling decidedly off colour. I had to drink copious amounts of water and needed to be close to the loo.
Were off to a farewell party tomorrow evening as friends of ours are emigrating to Australia. Barbara and I have known each other since our elder children were babies. She has since remarried and is off on this big adventure. I know she has concerns at moving away from her grown up children, but I'm sure they will take the advantage of holidays in Oz and communication is so good now.

Its back to work today after a very busy weekend. Ian was home and an enjoyable time we had. On Saturday evening Christo came over for dinner with his girlfriend Naomi and a great evening we had. We cooked on the raclette and drank a lot of wine! Steve and Ian went out for a sail together on Sunday morning and we watched the film 'Ratatouille' in the evening. Yesterday I got up at 6.00 to take Ian to the station as he had to get to Swindon for a course. Before we see Ian again he will have been to a conference in Kyoto, where he has a presentation to give. Later on in the summer he will speak at a conference in New York. Before coming back to the UK he will travel to and Boston and spend a few days with David my cousin.

I certainly picked the right days to use up my leave. I worked on Tuesday, but was off the rest of the week. I know I'm at risk of sounding boring by talking about the weather, but it has been fantastic, wall to wall sunshine. Living on the coast is wonderful all year, but especially when the weather is as glorious as it has been the last couple of days. I have used my leave quite efficiently. Meetings with friends, shopping with my Mother, Dr's, opticians, and hairdressers appointments all fitted in.
Today I'm off to help at the a rainbow sleepover:) Its the second one I have attended and I can't begin to hope that this one will be as good as the last, when all but one child slept the night through.

Summer arrived in Lille the morning after we did. Our journey was easy, how wonderful the channel tunnel is. Thirty five minutes from departure we drove onto French soil. The journey on the motorway from Calais to Lille was smooth, although getting into the car park proved too challenging, so we parked the car in a shopping centre car park and walked the short distance to our accommodation. We had booked into the 'Citadel' one of a chain. It was an excellent place to stay, clean and modern with a little kitchenette, what a bargain It was as well. Our first evening out was spent at a Creperie, the service was excellent and the Gallettes were delicious. The food we ate all weekend was superb, from the bread, croissants and coffee for petit dejenuer (my apologies to any language teachers reading this) taken at small cafe's to the wonderful Sunday lunch of fresh fish eaten at a little restaurant overlooking the wonderful market. The indoor food market was amazing with a colourful variety of fish, fruit, veg, pastries and cheese. The meat wasn't quite so attractive. Lille was a very attractive city, with lots of pretty squares and wonderful buildings. It felt a very safe place to be, everyone was very friendly, there were a small number of people begging on the street, but not as many as you'd see in London or other European cities.

We ended our weekend with a trip to Carreforre where we bought some French goodies, not too much, some wine, some raclette cheese and a few bottles of wine!

The weekend's drawing closer and I'm really looking forward to the trip to Lille. We leave on Friday lunchtime and I can't wait. After the past couple of weeks, which have been very stressful, I can't wait to get away with Jan, Sandy and Elaine. My nephew rang me yesterday, having been contacted by Ian, he wanted to reassure me that the recent happenings were inevitable and that I shouldn't blame myself. Ian will be home in two weeks and has invited his cousin over for dinner one evening.

No more e mails and I'm beginning to feel a bit less sick about the situation that has arisen. Last night an American supper at the home of Elaine & Brian. The company was excellent and the food amazing. I vacated our bed in the middle of the night for the spare room as Steve's snoring was louder than usual. Today a trip to the garden centre and not much else planned, apart from catching up on last night episode of Dr Who, can't say I like Catherine or is Katherine Tate's acting.
I have been checking the weather forecast for Lille, so far its showing wet all week with a miraculous change to sunshine and 17c on Thursday, perhaps that will be the start of a great few days. I have looked out my passport and 50 Euros over from previous trips. Oh it would make such sense if we gave up the pound along with the rest of Europe.
Well I'd better go and get out of my pj's.

Because of the events of the past week and other messages received today, I have decided that I have to step back from a relationship that has now gone pear shaped. I would very much have liked this to work out, but I don't need the confrontation and the unfair accusations that have been levied at me. I rate myself as a reasonable sort of person. My immediate family are the most important people in my life. I have very good friends who's friendship I value. Steve has now read the messages and he is cross at the way I have been treated. Tonight I'm going out and I'm going to have a glass of wine or two or maybe more!

The last week has been very mixed. A lovely weekend when Dot visited, but downhill from then! On Monday I received the first of a string of e mails from my half sister. The first being accusational, I somehow have turned into the Villain of the piece! What prompted this was that I was unable to accept an invitation for Steve and I to go over to dinner! The explanation that I had given was seen as prevaricating and that Steve didn't want to go. In part true, Steve is reluctant, but the reason I gave of Steve doing more travelling and that weekdays weren't easy to predict where he would be was absolutely true. The e mails have passed between since Tuesday, I have tried to be understanding, to apologise for any hurt that may been caused, but every mail I have received has been more and more confrontational. I haven't replied to the last yet. I talked to Ian about it, he gives wise counsel, I have only briefly mentioned it to Steve without going into detail or showing him the correspondence, he is suffer ring with a bad back, had an A/F episode and has the consultants appointment tomorrow. I don't want to cause him any unnecessary stress!
.

After a couple of weeks of worrying, today I saw a gynaecologist. I came away with good news, the symptoms I have been experiencing have no sinister cause. Whatever the cause, I wasn't given a clear explanation! The Doctor who I saw had absolutely no communication skills and his spoken English was poor. While I am sure that the man was highly qualified in his field, am I totally unreasonable to expect to understand what is said by the medic who is treating me. I had received in the post a six page questionnaire, when I tried to give it to the Dr he didn't want it. Why had I bothered carefully filling in all the most intimate details of my medical history. Should I complain?

On Monday Steve and I celebrated 29 years of marriage. We had an evening out together, we had a drink at 'The Custom House' followed by a meal at 'Cafe Rouge' at Gunwarfe Quays. It was a lovely evening. We have a great life, but it seems rarely that just the two of us go out together. Unfortunately I was sick all night, was it food poisoning or a bug? I was in bed all day yesterday. I spent the time dozing, looking look across the Solent at the Isle of Wight, reading and I even watched a dvd. Its was glorious day, just right for a walk along the beach, but I didn't go anywhere. It was a work day, but I called in sick as I defiantly shouldn't have gone anywhere near anyones precious little babies! Fortunately today is my day off, so I can take it a Little easy today as still feeling a little wobbly at the moment. I had decided against doing any 'bank' hours today as Dot is arriving on Friday for a long weekend and I had planned to get things ready for her visit. Steve & I are both looking forward to seeing her. Oh I did manage to organise an online Tesco shop from my sick bed which will arrive on Friday morning, hopefully before Dot.

Rebecca has asked if we would look after her two babies overnight in July, they will be 20 months and 6 months by then. I'm really chuffed that she feels happy to leave her precious children with us. Being late to parenthood, means that Rebecca's children only have one grandparent. Mari is a doting Granny, but has arrived at Grannyhood in her 70's which means that she isn't able to look after both her grandchildren for that period of time. Rebecca has suggested bringing them here, but it may be better if we go to their home. Plenty of time to sort it out.

It may be April, we may live on the South coast where the climate is mild, but this morning we had snow. I awoke at about 8.00am when it was sleeting, within fifteen minutes the snow was falling in big chunks. It only snowed for about an 1.5 hour, but long and hard enough to leave a good covering. The local children were out building snowmen and the slipway which is used to launch sail boats was being used for skiing. Its been cold for the rest of the day, but the sun has shone and the snow has melted. We had home made soup for lunch, it had been in the freezer since Christmas and it was just the thing to warm us up.
Today I have planned a trip with three girlfriend to Lille in May. We shall stay for three nights and travel by car through the tunnel. I love doing things with Steve, but I feel so liberated when I do things with the girls. (well not quite girls). These three particular girls are friends that I have made since our move here four years ago, their husbands sail with Steve and we have fun in other ways. What blessings!
Tomorrow I'm going to Romsey to have lunch with my sister Annie.

I don't seem to get to writing this blog very often, although I am fortunate to have plenty of time which working part time allows for, somehow there is never enough time for everything. I write mostly for me, Janis is the only person who knowingly reads my entries and I can't believe my little jottings would interest anyone else.

Yesterday I took my Mother to the opticians, where we spent two whole hours, firstly her sight test and then the choice of 4 pairs of glasses. I recently have taken to wearing varifocals. My changing eyesight meant I needed specs for driving, computer work and reading. After ordering my glasses various people warned me of how they had tried and failed in the use of them. I have to say how liberating they are as they allow me to see and I don't have to keep changing specs. I don't suppose I will ever do it as I'm very squeamish, but I'm actually not against Lazar surgery that people have to correct their vision. As I get older I realize that my eyesight is so valuable.

After the opticians we took a trip on the Gosport ferry and went to Gunwarfe. After a few hours of following my Mother in and out of shops I was exhausted. Did she get the dress she was after? No! Did she say she wants a trip to Southampton? Yes, eeeek perhaps she can persuade her friend Beryl to accompany her.
Last week we made the decision to help Matt out financially, to give Matt his credit he didn't ask for help and he has taken on a second job. Matt will pay us back and hopefully we will have avoided a CCJ against him.
Steve has made the choice to take on a different role at work. He is going back to a technical role which he loves in preference to the one he is doing which is leading him deeper into management. So as well as the commitment to Matt we have had to go down the path of a second car. We have managed well with one for a year, but as Steve will have to do a lot more travelling its back to being a two car household:(
Steve has had a relatively minor heart condition for 20 years. About twice a year Steve would have a couple of episodes where his heart would go into A/F and beat erratically for a few hours. More recently its been happening twice a month, which I'm sure the stress of work has attributed to. Anyway on Easter Saturday he had a particularly worrying episode and after much nagging he has seen the GP and is awaiting an appointment with a cardiologist!
We have put any long trips on temporary hold! Three friends and I are planning a long weekend in Lille in May. We haven't yet booked, but are planning going by Eurostar.

British Summer time arrived this morning, hurray! I love all seasons, but after the battering by winds and rain that we have taken over the last few weeks I won't be sorry for the seasons to change and hope that Spring turns early this year into Summer. Steve will be pleased as today he has once again had to put back fence panels. Today has been glorious, windy but sunny, perfect for the walk along the prom that Steve and I took before dinner. It's now well after 7.00pm and its still daylight.
Tomorrow I'm seeing Sue, I met her at college in 1974 and we have remained good friends. Sue is mourning the death of her father who died nearly a month ago. His funeral isn't for another 3 days, because of bank holidays and a backlog at the crematorium it has taken all this time which is absolutely abominable. Its nearly eight years since my own father death but I feel Sue's pain. In their families sadness is joy as her eldest has just announced that she is to have Sue's first grandchild in November.
I saw my niece on Thursday, she had been visiting for a week over Easter. She spent time with her friends and stayed also with her grandmother. This 16 year old also met up with her father, but we are all sworn to secrecy, so that 'you know who' doesn't find out!!

My Easter memories are usually of warm spring days. Good Friday this year has been a day of all weathers. Four seasons in one day. Snow, hail, wind and at times warm sunshine. I drove back from Gosport in a snow shower this morning, the temperature gauge dropped from 6c to -0.5 in seconds. The sun came out for a while this afternoon, the wind was wild, I pegged the washing firmly on the line and fortunately it stayed in place. the smell of fresh washing that has been dried outsize is one of my favorite aroma's.
As with millions of other people Steve has spent this bank holiday decorating, painting doors and revamping the awful fire place in our sitting room which we inherited when we moved in almost 4 years ago. I'll post a before and after picture once it is finished.
My niece is arriving from Leeds for a few days, she will stay with my Mother. Today is her brother's 19th birthday and it would have been my Grandmother's 112th birthday. My sister has a new job as a receptionist in a hotel in Leeds, a change from hair dressing, I'm sure she will do well at it. Good Luck.
Matt has job interview tonight for a bar job, he is hoping to do two nights a week. Matt is enjoying his day job and last week was given a substantial pay rise, so I guess he is doing really well.
Ian is working on his research this weekend, he is off to Montpelier for a conference next weekend as well as going to Lisbon for a friends party. Katie his girlfriend is going with him, so I hope they have a nice time.
Work has been manic, were short staffed, we are working like crazy, its feeling uncomfortable as were not able to give everyone the time they deserve! I'm not yet sure if my extra hours will become permanent. I don't mind either way, but have asked to do them over three days, not four.

Its Sunday evening and nearly the end of my weeks leave. Its back to work on Tuesday. I have enjoyed my week off: a visit to Bedford where I saw friends and also Matt. Steve has spent a couple of days decorating our sitting room, its looking good, amazing what a coat of paint can do. Last night we went to our friend Stewart's 60th birthday. We had a great evening and a group came back here to have coffee or a drink. We didn't get to bed until 2.00am. When I got up I was relieved to find that the glass of Champagne that I accidentally threw up the newly painted wall hadn't marked it in any way. It would have been a different story had it been a glass of red wine.

I have been off line for nearly three weeks as my lap top has been away for repair. I'm glad to say it has now been returned, complete with new screen. The repair itself was done in a couple of days, the collection and delivery of the the PC proved difficult. I didn't realize how much I would miss my little machine.
The weekend before last we had a family get together to celebrate Dot's 80th birthday. Dot is Steve's aunt and great aunt to our children. Dot really is a great aunt and has been wonderful to all the family. Steve's Mother died when Ian was a baby and sadly she didn't get the opportunity to be a grandmother to her eight grandchildren. The children have been fortunate to have Dot as she has always been a special person in their lives. We gathered at Rebecca's house for the celebrations. Tacy and I shared in the preparation of Sunday lunch in Dot's honour and fifteen of us sat down to lunch. it was a testimony to Dot that everyone came. Dot is looking forward to her birthday present, a trip in a hot air balloon with a friend, quite an experience for an 80 year old, but actually Dot's birthday was actually only her 20th, because she was born on the 29th February!
I'm on annual leave this week and went to Bedford on Sunday to stay with Linda. Its a year since we went to Venice to celebrate Linda's 50th birthday, so on Monday night the thirteen of us who went on the trip and had a reunion and went out for an Italian meal. We had a great evening.
I saw Matt while I was there, he seems happy and is enjoying his job.
Steve is on leave for a couple of days and has said he is going to do some jobs around the house. We have just got back from the local DIY store, where we bought paint for the ceiling in our sitting room. Firstly Steve has to fill in the small hole in the artex where the bath leaked before he paints the ceiling. I know that this relatively small job will grow into something bigger, it always does. I have taken refuge in the bedroom and am making up for the time that I have missed on the computer recently.

I can feel another very lazy Sunday coming on. We spent a very enjoyable evening at the sailing club and although I disappeared to bed about 1.30a.m, after making hot chocolate and toast for eight. (pictured are L-R: Stuart, Jan, Steve, Brian, Elaine and i on our trip last year to Spain). Steve didn't come to bed until 4.00 am. he is still asleep. Jan & Stu who stayed over are also still in bed. It was another fun evening amongst friends. I'm still amazed how good life is! I never imagined that post kids our lives would be so enjoyable.

Work has been especially good this week. I had a little thank you note from a young Mother, it doesn't happen very often, but wow, when it does it means such a lot!

Talking about Mothers, I must pop up and see mine today. On Wednesday night I took her and her friend Beryl out to Southsea to the Kashmir restaurant. My parents had been going there since it first opened in the very early 60's and Mum was saying how she really fancied a curry and only the Kashmir's would do. It still seems a little strained between Mum and I, we certainly have something in between us now. Tomorrow I'm meeting Annie for lunch and I feel I have to skulk off secretly!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! I thought that once my youngest son reached the ripe old age of 22 he might have had a little maturity! But NO! Matt has finished his short relationship with the tatooist/bodypiercer, although its not a exactly permenant he has had an awful piercing in his ear lobe! its one of the awful sort that you can stretch until you are left with bloody great hole. I'm devastated that my boy can mutilate himself in this way!

This week has been quite a busy one. Yesterday along with a colleague we went shopping for toys. I had managed to get £100 from a charity for some toys for our two baby clinics. There was no way the PCT would pay for new toys and the ones we had were very old, dirty and passed their sale by date. February is a really good time to go toy shopping as both the Early learning Centre and Woolworth's had discounts, so we mangaged to make the money go a very long way.

As were short staffed I have agreed to do a few more hours, a half day on a Wednesday. Steve is awaiting some changes at work and may go back to travelling with the company. We will have managed about a year with one car. but will probably have to get another:(

I saw Annie this week. It was quite difficult as she obviously doesn't have any qualms about upsetting my Mother and why should she!

Were out to a party this evening. Its our friend Elaine's birthday and were having an American supper at the home of Stewart & Jan. I have been asked to take cheese and salad, so thats easy.

On Sunday were having eight friends here for lunch. Were having Turkey and all the trimmings. Our Friends had teased me merclessely for making my own christmas puddings which take 10 hours to steam. It probably does seem pointless when you can buy some very nice ones in any of the supermarkets, but I really enjoy some traditions and thats just one of them! So I thought I'd invite them to try mine and thought I might as well do the whole thing. Good old Waitrose were able to get me the Turkey and there are plenty of sprouts in the local green grocers!
A question Janis I seem to have inadvertently turned off my spell check, do you know how to turn it back on? Than you x

Spring seems to have come really early, this weekend we have been bathed in glorious sunshine. My plan for yesterday changed on Friday night when I was invited along by my friends Elaine & Sandy on a trip to Lymington. Steve offerred to be around for the Tesco delivery and this also allowed him to stay in doors and watch the rugby!

Lymington is a lovely little Georgian market town, it has mostly small independant and designer shops. I particuarly liked the Cath Kidson shop. I wouldn't buy a lot of things in the shop as most of the stuff is sold at an astronomical price. I think what appealed to me was that a lot of the things they sold were very nostalgic. Particuarly the talcumn powder sold in tins, but at £8.00 a tin it stayed on the shelf. I did buy some long handled coloured sundae spoons, not sure why but I just liked them. www.CathKidston.co.uk Saturday is market day and the crowds were out. We had plenty of refreshment and had lunch in a pub overlooking the harbour. I did buy a photo frame as Elaine had given me a photo taken by her husband Brian ,of Steve & I taken at the Burns night dinner.

Sunday started early as I awoke as at 6.00am, managed to stay in bed untill just before 7.00 am and then got up and started the day. I spent most of the morning cleaning, until Ian phoned and we had a long chat, by then the urge to do housework had passed and as Steve was out I decided to call on my Mother. I took her to the garden centre, it was lovely to wander around in the sunshine. Things between us are still a bit strained, but the chat with Jan last week and Ian's wise words this morning are a great help. ( How did my first born turn into such an amazing young man!).

This afternoon Steve has been cutting the grass, can you believe it in early February! I have spent a couple of hours reading and am feeling really relaxed.

The weekend is nearly upon us, I don't have very much planned apart from awaiting a delivery in the morning from Tesco. How I love online shopping and the fact that I haven't had to trail around the supermarket to get my groceries. We are lucky here because we have good local shops, a great green grocers, a butchers and a recent addition of a fish shop. From the big supermarket I buy the bulky stuff, the loo rolls, the washing liquid and the packets and tins!

At work were busy, which isn't surprising as one of our team was moved recently to a team that was short staffed, now we too are short staffed as well. Extra hours which has been widely talked about, but as yet haven't been agreed upon.

I do enjoy my job and this morning I was running a session for Mums with young babies, teaching them about weaning. Ten mums and their infants attended.

We travelled back yesterday afternoon in to evening from Leigh On Sea where we had been to meet our new nephew Vincent. He is a beautiful baby, his parents are delighted with their son. His big sister at 14 months old is happy to smother him with kisses and gets in the occaisional swipe!

We enjoyed our weekend, but as with all trips away its nice to come home again. The children are lovely, Simon is a devoted hands on Daddy, but oh I'm so glad that we were able to have our children at an earlier age. I can't imagine having teenagers when you are nearly 60.
We had to come through London last night as part of the M25 was closed, I didn't mind as I quite like passing through busy places, peering into lit rooms and getting a fleeting glimpse of the people living along the route of the south circular. It was a bit drawn out for Steve, but he did turn down my offer to swap drivers.
It was nice to talk online to Janis last night, thank you jan you were a big help x

The Burns night dinner was was great fun, a young piper played his bagpipes as people entered the building and again when the haggis was ceremoniously paraded in. A very smart kilted gentleman in his wonderful Scottish lilt greeted the haggis. The words of Robbie Burns that he spoke sounded romantic, but were quite comical in their content. The food was good, but I couldn't drink the Whisky or was it Whiskey! We ended the evening at friends, who are neighbours, the party was still going on when we left at 1.00am, conscious that I have to leave later in the morning to drive Matt to Bedfordshire!

Another weekend again and were just waiting for Matt to arrive. Trying to juggle picking him up at the ferry with waiting in for a parcel and an appointment I have at the beauty therapist! I'm having a facial this afternoon, Steve bought me two vouchers for Christmas and I'm using one this afternoon. A facial involves a back and shoulder massage and is wonderfully relaxing. I will use the other voucher in a few weeks, which is for a full body massage. I'm working hard to try and loose a bit of weight, so when I have lost a stone I will reward myself!

The parcel I'm waiting for is from Marks & Sparks! I was delighted to see on their website that they now are selling bras in my size. I usually buy mine from company called Bravissimo, but they are hellishly expensive. I took my Mother with me to Hedge End where M&S have a large out of town store. I spent ages looking through thousand of bras and in the end had to find an assistant to show me where to look! Huh, well would you believe this particular line are only sold online as there isn't much call for these sizes. Well I was a bit miffed especially as I had to pay an increased delivery service to have them delivered today! Were going out to night to a dinner for Burns night and I want my new bra to go under a new dress!
I bought the dress in Monsoon, its gorgeous and I'm delighted with it. It was originally priced at £2oo, I certainly would never have paid that, but it was down to £60 and once again my friend Elaine talked me into it. It has a little detail in sequins, as I noticed a few missing I asked the assistant if they would reduce it anymore and they knocked another £10.00 off. As the garment came with a little bag of sequins and thread, I was able to sew on some replacements.
I rang Rebecca earlier, she sounds really happy and is delighted with her new son. We have arranged to go up next weekend to see them and to to meet Vince.
Steve has just gone out to the station to pick up Matt, can't wait to see him.

Congratulations to Rebecca & Simon on the birth today of Vincent James Varney, who was born at home today weighing 8lb.

Another week over and what an awful one its been. My half sister felt insulted by My Mother's phone call to her over a week ago and wrote a letter to my Mother which has upset her immensely! It had quite an accusational tone to it and My Mum thinks I should defend her. Once again I find myself trying to placate everyone.
Once again the weather here becomes a topic of conversation. Steve usually rides his bike to work, but this week it has rained torrentially most days and the wind has blown heavily or described by Steve in sailors terms of forces, sometimes as high as force 10! Fortunately Steve works locally, so I have been able to drop him off to work and most afternoon the weather has abated and he has walked the three miles home. Today were off to Gunwarfe to the 'pictures' to see the Golden Compass, probably not I would choose to see, but Its Steve's choice and were going with friends. Although its no longer raining, the wind is still howling, not sure if I really want to go on the Gosport ferry!
One of my colleagues at work is being moved to another area which is very short staffed, it will leave our team a little short, so I am 'probably' going to be offered some more hours, I say probably, because wheels always turn slowly in the NHS and although my manager has approached me, she has it have it approved higher up! I have said I will do five more hours as I still want to be able to have Mondays off and Friday afternoons!
My sister in law hasn't yet produced her second baby, she hasn't told us the exact date, all we know is January, so it can't be too long now!
Matthew seems happy in Bedford. next weekend he will be home to sort his stuff out and on Sunday I will I will drive him back with his belongings. As I don't work on Mondays I will spend Sunday night with My friend Linda.

Yesterday was a glorious morning and I went for a long walk along the seafront with my friend Sandy. It had been a very windy few days so we collected a couple of large pieces of drift wood for my front garden and hauled them back between us. At the moment they are sitting on the pea shingle, where they were dumped. I need to arrange them so they give the right affect, that is harder than it seems as I am most probably one of the least artistic people ever!

The weekend started well, on Friday evening we were with friends. It was a late night or should I say early morning as we didn't get in until 1.30am on Saturday. There were eight of us at Elaine & Brian's home. We had a great evening, it was a really sociable night, eating food cooked on a raclette and drinking rather a lot of Champagne. There was lots of laughter and lots of debate. I still can't believe how fortunate we are to have such lovely friends and all unknown to us until our move back to Hampshire.

It's Sunday morning, the weekend has whizzed by, not in a hive of activity as I spent another day yesterday on the sofa, nursing my head! Today we have an invitation for lunch at some friends. Steve desperately wants to go as there will be a bunch of guys with whom he feels comfortable and they can talk boats. I'd really prefer another day being quiet as my head is still throbbing. I will probably take some painkillers an hour beforehand and see then if I feel up to it.
Yesterday I actually had two e mails from my twin sister. The first communication from her in a year. She had received a communication from our other sister and had sent me her reply which told Annie that she didn't consider her any part of her family and that she & her children didn't want anything to do with her! Later in the day came the second message in response to a reply that Annie had sent to her. (do you follow, so far?). Twin sister wanting me to pass on a message to Annie! Oh dear I feel I'm 'piggy in the middle'. Sister's would probably have never been destined to get along as they both are very opinionated, but then who do they take after!!!
Matthew moved permenantly back to Bedford after Christmas, he has moved in with a friend. He successfully applied for and got a job with a small manufaturing company. He will be be working in customer services, dealing with people, mainly on the phone and via e mail. He starts tomorrow, so Good Luck Matt & when are you coming home to clear all your stuff out of the garage, so I can put the car away and not have to scrape the ice on icy mornings?

It was back to work yesterday, I came home absolutely shattered and with a raging headache. I didn't feel any better after dinner, so I went to bed at 7.00pm. I dozed all evening, slept all night and woke up feeling awful. I work a half day on Friday's and as my head was still thumping I decided not to go into work. I have spent the day in my pj's on the sofa, sleeping and watching a little bit of television. No energy left to write anymore & I think it will be another very early night.

A Happy New year to everyone. The arrival of 2008 was quite a quiet affair, a small party at the home of Tim & Jane. It was a sober little party, but enjoyed by all, particularly 10 year old Anthony who tasted Champagne for the first time. This afternoon we will host another quiet little party, Tea & Cake at 4.00 pm for half a dozen friends. I'm particularly aware that we haven't done any entertaining, so decided to do something really low key, although I'm sure Steve will find a couple of bottles of Fizz and he will probably concoct some mulled wine.

I wonder what 2008 will bring? I'm certain that most people will be wishing for health & happiness for their closest friends & family as am I. Ian is planning to submit his work for his phd this year and talked briefly about his future plans which seem to be around the world of academia. Matt has a job interview on Thursday, he, I'm sure will soon get a job to pay his way and perhaps 2008 will be the year where he may find out where he is going in life!!!
Were looking forward to the arrival of Rebecca & Simon's second child in the early part of January

Christmas day is nearly over. Weeks of preparation for the festivities behind us. We were only four this year and Ian reminded us that its the first time in many years that its been that way. We were one more as Matt's recent split from his ex meant he was here and not in Wigan! Matt has tried very hard not to let his unhappiness spoil Christmas for the rest of us. Our day has been quietly enjoyable. Long gone are the days when we would all be up at the crack of dawn, the Children excitingly opening their stockings as early as they could get away with. Father Christmas stopped delivering a couple of years ago, so this morning after a leisurely breakfast we sat down to hand out the presents piled under the tree. We decided that we would stretch out the process, it was fun guessing what was in the parcels and taking pleasure as each of us opened their gifts. We had decided that we wouldn't buy large presents, as is usual with families with youngish adults, there has been need of monetary assistance recently and the need to be financially sensible was necessary. Ian was particularly pleased with the glass teapot/infuser and the lap sang su chan tea that Matt gave to him. Matt was equally delighted with his T shirt from Ian with slogan 'Destined for greatness, just pacing myself'.

Christmas lunch was was served at 4.00pm and was a joint effort between Steve and I, it was jolly nice, but we didn't fit in pudding until an hour ago. Home made Christmas pud with Steve's rum sauce- delicious.

It was the weekend of my fiftieth birthday. It started on Friday evening with a great evening, a Chinese meal with our friends from Lee On Solent at the restaurant in Stubbington. A fun evening and the celebrations just carried on. On Saturday evening we travelled to Romsey where Annie cooked dinner for us & Matt came too. It was a lovely evening.
Sunday began with a rather rushed breakfast in bed and the opening of presents before we rushed to collect Maggie & Cameron and travelled with them and Matt up to London. We walked along the South Bank, where outside we met Linda my friend from Bedford. I had found on the Internet that the 'Frost Festival' would be taking place and lots of stalls and street entertainment was set up between The Globe and The Tate Modern'. The Globe was open with free entry and after looking at their exhibition we were entertained in the theatre, it was fabulous and we joined in the heckling! After the little glimpse, a visit to a whole performance is a definite must.
We met up with Ian and Hazel (Maggie's daughter who had come along in place of Matt's ex).
The highlight and very extravagant part of the day was afternoon tea at Claridges. The table was booked for 3.30 and before we took our place in the restaurant, we ladies went to the loo or should I say lavatory. We deposited our coats with the female attendant, used the loo and after we washed our hands, we were all handed an individual fluffy hand towel!
Claridges looked resplendent in all its Christmas glories, My humble little tree,looks more like a twig in comparison. The hotel was beautifully decorated in art deco style. In the restaurant where tea was served, music was played by a cellist and pianist. We were waited on by two very smart waiters, who service was flawless. Champagne was served with the delicious delicate sandwiches, there were plenty of them and the platters were filled as often as we needed. Unknown to me, Steve had informed the hotel that we were celebrating my birthday, so the musicians struck up 'Happy birthday' as the waiter arrived by my side with a perfect piece of birthday cake with one candle and 'Happy Birthday' piped in chocolate on the plate. perfect scones, pastries and cakes were served. We took a leisurely two hours over tea and left the Hotel feeling very full and satisfied with the wonderful experience, and wondering how well to do Edwardian 's managed to eat dinner on top of tea!
The celebration weren't over and we walked from Regent Street to Somerset House where we were to ice skate at the open air rink. On the way, we stopped and sang Carols around the tree at Trafalgar square.
The skating was fun and then it was time to take our leave, Ian to Sheffield, Linda to Bedford and Hazel to Eastbourne. The rest of us made our weary way to Waterloo to catch the train home.
What a wonderful day it was.

Steve arrived safely back around 9.00pm last night. I thought yesterday was the worst possible weather in which to to be driving to Liverpool. I was wrong, today the winds are blowing up to 80 mph, so I'm glad that guys aren't on the road today.

Matt is home and last night he showed very little sign of the hurt that he's really feeling, his gregarious personality was at the fore. This morning he seemed a little more stressed and this afternoon he has been in his room and I have hardly seen him.

Matthew's return home forced me to have an unexpected clear out to make space for Matt & all his stuff. There is a big bag of 'stuff' to go to the charity shop and I hope the ceiling holds up with all the extra weight in the loft.

Tomorrow I'm going to the optician, I trod on my glasses a few days ago and also I think that I may need to wear glasses for driving. I'm not able to read the speedometer in the car and I don't think poor eyesight will be a good defence if I'm stopped for speeding. My friend Elaine is coming with me so she can give her opinion on my new specs. We will probably mooch around the shops and have coffee & Cake. ( Elaine in centre of photo with Janet on the left and me, during our trip to Spain).

I had a long chat with Ian on MSN this morning, he is spending his last days in Australia and will leave Melbourne on Tuesday, spend a couple of days in Singapore and then will arrive back in the UK on Friday.

Well I don't know yet exactly why Matt wouldn't talk to me yesterday, but I will find out. We had call from our distressed son and Steve is now on his way to Liverpool to bring him home. My heartaches when my kids are hurting.

I'm generally quite easy going and I don't very often swear, but today I'm utterly 'pissed off'. It's younger son that has led me to feel this way. I have tried to be supportive during the last two weeks as Matthew coped with the split from his girlfriend and although I think its the wrong thing to do I have again supported him as he has got back with her. Why would anyone want to reinstate a relationship with someone who has had sex with another and who also spread horrendous lies about you. But if that's what he wants then I will back him. Then why am I so p****d off? Matt contacted us yesterday and said he'd like to come down for a long weekend. Steve and I juggled our day, so that I would be able to go to Southampton Parkway to pick him up! This afternoon Matt sent me a text saying he wouldn't be coming today,but would make it tomorrow. I have sent Matt a text, to which I got no answer and when I saw him on MSN, he told me he didn't want to talk! WHY!

It's Monday morning and we have woken up to a glorious sunshiny day. Yesterday was very stormy, heavy winds and torrential rain all day long. I'm surprised that we didn't have any fences down and that the roof is intact. I didn't in fact go out of the house, not even into the garden. Elaine & Brian had stayed over on Saturday night and left about 11.00am and then it was a quiet day at home. I watched a film, wrapped up Christmas presents and wrote Christmas cards, didn't do very much else and lazily went to bed at bed at 9.00am

This morning I'm expecting my friend Sue to call in, Sue begins a new job in Gosport and is doing a test drive over from Portsmouth, so she will come for a chat and a coffee. I'm hoping she will bring her daughter's wedding photo's. Steve and I didn't make the wedding as it was the day we were going on holiday to Greece.

Sue has just been, we had a long chat, she did bring the photo's, so it was nice to look at them.

I was thinking about walking up to see my Mother, but just telephoned her and as she is not in so I'm not going to go out any where. Would you believe the weather is changing again and its looking very overcast.

I have just chatted online to Ian, he is in the last phase of his trip to Australia and is at a research station in Broken Hill in New South Wales. He sent me a wonderful e -mail overnight, expressing his support for Matt. Ian will be home in 12 days after a stop over in Singapore.

Matthew is going through a really tough time at the moment. He rang me yesterday and was very upset. The split from his girlfriend has been difficult enough, but he has found out that she has been cheating on him, by cheating I assume she has been sleeping with someone else. Matthew is hurt, but the thing he is finding truly devastating is that the girl he loves is spreading lies about him!

How do you help your children through these things, he may be 22 years old and a giant, but I'd like to be able make his pain go away.

It's only 4.00, nearly dark outside, pouring with rain and the wind is blowing wildly. Steve has cycled to work today so I may be called to collect him from work. I have sent him an e mail offering my taxi service, he hasn't replied and secretly I'm hoping he's happy to ride his trusty bike!
Last April we went down to one car for the sake of the planet and our own economy. It seems likely that Steve may have to start doing a bit more travelling with work. The dilemma will be whether we again run a second car.
Tomorrow I'm going to Lymington with two friends, were going to do some Christmas shopping and peruse the local market. While were shopping, chatting and drinking hot chocolate, the guys will be clearing up at the boat yard. I have just baked some cakes for the 'workers' and also the Christmas puddings are steaming. Unbelievably its taken me five days to make them this year! They now have to steam for 10 hours. Tomorrow In evening were going to cook on the raclette at our house, It should be easy as Elaine and Sandy are both contributing to the fare and there won't be too much preparation.
Nothing else planned for the weekend, which is rather nice, perhaps it will be a lazy Sunday.

How do other women manage to work full time? I work half time and today was one of my days off. It started around 7.30. I did some washing, ironing, washed the kitchen floor, cleaned the bathroom's! (His & hers how decadent and I clean both.) I dashed to Asda for the missing ingredient for my Christmas pudding, came back and mixed up the ingredients that I had weighed out last night! All this before my My friend Jane arrived at 10.30 as she had asked me out for coffee. This afternoon I have taken my Mother out to Garston's garden centre or should I say 'Christmas shop'. I picked up a few things, some wrapping paper, a proper advent calender, one without chocolate and it's for me!
In 10 minutes I'm off to 'rainbow's, were celebrating St Andrew's day.

I didn't sleep very well, which is unusual for me. For a long time I have been lucky enough to get 8 hours, I have friends who have difficulty ever getting a good night, so I do count myself fortunate in that respect. I knew within an hour of going to bed that things didn't bode well!
Matt had sent me a message around teatime to say that he and his girlfriend Samantha had split. I can't say that I was wholly surprised as during a recent trip home Matt had told me a few things that had concerned me. Matt wears is heart on his sleeve, as is the saying, so there is no doubt that he was totally in love for the first time and I'm sure that he must be hurt even though he says the relationship ended mutually. I rang Matt and he said he was 'fine', he was staying with Gio his best friend from school who lives now in Liverpool. Matt now has to make new living arrangements. So even at the age of twenty two my kids can be the cause of my sleepless night:).
Yesterday I went Christmas shopping at Gunwarfe Quays, I feel pleased that at last I have made a start. I'm not a keen shopper, so the best bit was the break I took in the Ha Ha bar for hot chocolate. I luxuriated on the squashy sofa for half an hour and read their newspapers, though its much more fun with my friend Janis, when we chat for ages and even have two mugs of hot chocolate!

I left Bedfordshire today after a really relaxing weekend with my friend Linda. On Friday we went and saw Rachel an ex colleague of ours at home with her two children: Emily, a very lively, friendly, four year old and Joshua a some what quieter at 10 months. On Saturday we went out with Shirley who is a friend and also an ex colleague. I was amazed to see how much building is going on in the more rural part of the county. Just a few miles from Clophill, the village we lived in for 16 years a new village is being created by the name of 'Wixams'. It looks to me if its more likely to end up a small town joining up with Bedford! Oh well things don't ever stay the same. Would I go back? No I'm really happy in my Little seaside town, but I miss what it was, the place where we brought up our children from Tots to when they left home.
I have just made a shopping list as tomorrow I plan to go out and get the ingredients to make the Christmas pudding. Yes I know I could buy a really decent one for less in one of the supermarkets, but its one of the traditions of Christmas I love, especially the smell as it is cooking, three hours initial steaming and then an hour on Christmas day.
While with Linda I did buy a few Christmassy bits & pieces, mainly small decorations for the Christmas tree. Steve & I have decided that we would like a new television, so this will be our Christmas present to each other this year. I still haven't any idea what to buy for Ian & Matt. Anyone any ideas?

Matthew rang last night for a chat. This is a rare event, he wanted to tell me that he and his girlfriend Samantha are looking for a flat as they have decided to move from Samantha's mother's house. I think its a good thing, but his second piece of news pleased me more. Matt has decided to update his CV in order to find another job. Not too much jubilation until it really does happen though!
Not too much has been happening this week, although I did enjoy my day out with Annie on Monday.
I have worked this morning as I'm taking Friday off as I'm going up to Bedfordshire to stay with my friend Linda. I'm looking forward to seeing her and were planning to meet up with other friends: Rachel and Shirley.
Steve is out with colleagues for a meal this evening, I'm not sure if its an early Christmas thing or not. I will spend the evening luxuriating in a bubble bath and spend the evening watching television. Firstly I will drive Steve into Fareham, but he will have to get a taxi for his journey home as I will have gone to bed before midnight.
It's Rainbows first, a sponsored sing for children in need. I don't know if I'm just miserable, but I hate the whole children in need campaign/programme. As you know I really like children, but I really detest the whole television thing. I usually listen to Terry Wogan on the radio, but have to turn it off in the week leading up to the event, (probably does me good to listen to radio 4 for a change) and I certainly didn't watch the extravaganza on the television on the Friday evening.
Saying this I know they raised at least 19 million pounds.

We had a very pleasant weekend visiting Rebecca, Simon & Maisie. Maisie will be one year old this week and this was probably the 4th time we have seen her. We arrived on Saturday at noon and after lunch we were bundled out of the house with the little one while her Mummy & Daddy had a sleep! We didn't mind and it was what we had expected. We had a walk along the sea path from Chalkwell to Leigh, where we called in to see Dot. Dot is Steve's aunt, her brother was Steve's father and she is well loved and respected, our boys love her and so do all her other great nieces and nephews. Maisie obviously loves her too. Despite being nearly 80, Dot is fit and active, when the boys were younger they enjoyed holidays with her, Maisie enjoys a walk weekly with Dot, although as she says she doesn't do 'nappies'. At our tri annual Christmas holidays Dot plays a pivotal role.

We drove home last night,through Kent & Surrey it was snowing quite heavily, by the time we got into Hampshire the snow had turned to sleety rain.

Today has been a really nice day with Annie. We started the day at her house with coffee then out to Sarisbury Green where we had lunch at the 'Lulworth Cafe' by the Hamble. the food was delicious and we chatted for hours.

On the news today was the news of a Russian woman who has just given birth to quintuplets. It will be a few months and many hurdles to cross before the parents are able to take their family back home to Russia. Today at clinic I saw a Mother with two year old identical twin girls. I was surprised to hear that these twins had two older siblings, another set of identical twin girls. My Mother's comments would be 'oh poor woman', she will still say how hard it was bringing up twins in their first couple of years!

I have come home from work feeling shattered. This morning I had my appraisal which took about two hours. It was very positive. I talked to Steve about it, the difference between working for a corporate company as he does and being employed by the NHS is that he would get a pay rise for exceeding expectations, but I won't get anything apart from job satisfaction! Our very good manager has just had to reapply for her job, she is the best I have had in NHS. The interview was successful and she has been told she has a job, but it might not necessarily be the one she's been doing, she could be relocated to another area of Hampshire.

Steve has come home from work with a headache and has gone for a lie down. I have stuck some jacket potato's in the oven along with some salmon fillets cooking in foil parcels along with some veg, very simple, delicious and so easy. I sometimes find it so hard to decide what to have for dinner each evening, Steve tends to leave it up to me, so its simplicity on work days.

Ian has just e mailed to say that instead of coming home on the 21st December from Sheffield, he won't be coming home until Christmas Eve as he has been invited to a school friends wedding. He suddenly seems to have reached the stage where his friends are settling down.