Its been nearly a week since I have been online. My laptop which I admit wasn't an expensive one, bought from Tcheibo has died. It did me good service for nearly three years and now I have a new one. Steve ordered it online about midnight last Wednesday and it arrived on Friday and we didn't even pay for express delivery.
Its been a really busy time. The weekend before last it was the sailing club centenary and I was invited along with Elaine and Jane onto Roshann and Richard's boat. It turned out to be a very luxurious yacht, certainly 'my type of sailing', particularly the champagne lunch, so much more pleasurable than the last time I was out on the water.

On Sunday we attended the christening of Ellie, granddaughter of my longest friend Janis. It was a lovely to be part of this lovely celebration and to be with Janis and her family.

Work continues to be manic, each month we have a meeting with our manager to address the staff shortages and every month she makes a work plan and goes away again for another month. Does anything change? Yesterday she came and went the same as usual. One of my colleagues asked me if I'd like to join her on a march in Brighton to protest at our pay award. I said no, I;m not militant and actually more than pay is the real issue. Staff shortages and resources are what affect my colleagues and I most.
Last weekend Linda was here and we had an enjoyable time. She returned back to Bedford on Sunday night, with a bit of glow to her skin. We hadn't realised how warm the sun was on Sunday as we walked along the seafront, there was a heavy wind which made it feel quite cool. Linda and I went to Lymington & Lyndhurst in the New Forest on Saturday and in the evening we stayed at home and watched the film 'The girl with the pearl earring'.

Steve had a really busy weekend as he was responsible for arranging a class event at the sailing club for laser 2000's. Because the wind was 'windy'! not too many competitiors took part, but those who did, really enjoyed it. Steve was happy that it was successful.
It was Steve's birthday yesterday and we celebrated with breakfast at 'The Bluebird' a seafront cafe. Steve sails on a Tuesday, so we wouldn't have had time to celebrate last night. Bacon sandwiches before work was a nice treat, certainly shouldn't become a habit. Next year Steve will be 50, so there will be bigger celebrations.

Friday the 13th and I'm not particularly superstitious, but it didn't start well!

Steve was awake from the early hours with his heart in an irregular heartbeat. We decided to visit the nurse at the surgery to get a trace as the consultant said it would be useful to him in his treatment of Steve's condition. The ECG was done, it showed Steve's heart wasn't in A/F but it was behaving in a very peculiar manner. Back home Steve rested for a few hours, he didn't improve and was feeling very unwell. We have been back and seen a locum GP who was very thorough. Steve's heart rhythm was this time in A/F and he's been sent home to rest. If he gets worse or becomes more unwell I have been advised to get him to hospital! Am I worried? Yesterday I spent the afternoon doing resus training, fingers crossed that I won't have to put it into practise.

Gosh, what a week. Work is absolutely manic, staff off sick, staff on secondment and staff off on annual leave. I worked four days this week and even popped into the office to make some calls this morning while Steve was in with the nurse.

On the A front it has gone a bit quiet. Steve had a nice e mail from Christo, saying that when he and his girlfriend have their new home straight, they only moved in last week, they would like to invite us over for a meal. I have resisted even reading his Mother's blog and thank God I didn't ever tell her of mine!

Ian is due back in Sheffield today after his trip to Japan, I'm sure he had a wonderful experience.

Matthew rang excitedly in the week as he has been promoted and has had a 7k pay rise, not bad, he's been there six months and this is the 2nd raise in that time! I'm very proud of him as he is obviously working hard and has proved himself to his employers:).

The morning after the weekend's sailing and I had to go to work which is an unusual occurrence for a Monday. I was awake early as I had slept very soundly. My whole body ached when I got up and eight hours later it's aching even more. Let my resolve never to go in a single handed dinghy remain strong, I just need to remember the pain. Fortunately I had only to go to work for a half day which I was spending out with a colleague from the mental health team. We had a good morning visiting her clients, it was ok sitting in houses or being driven in Sue's car, but oh I could have cried when I had to walk up three flight of stairs to her office and it was even worse coming down. The last time my muscles ached this much was when I climbed Mount Lomond!

I have reached the conclusion that dinghy sailing isn't for me. I have spent the weekend doing the RYA course. The weather has been beautiful, two warm sunny days spent on the Solent or at times in it. The first day we were sailing in larger dinghy's with two students and an instructor, at the end of the day I managed to capsize the boat and we all ended in the water. Today was the time when we took to the water in singlehanded boats, all on our lonesome. I spent a great amount of time getting wet. Twice I fell out of the boat and endless times I capsized the boat. The most spectacular capsize was when I Collided with another trainee and not only turned turtle my boat, but that of his as well. Fortunatly Chris took his dunking by me in good spirit. The culmination of the course was to beable to sail a triangular course, this I failed miserably. I won't be taking the opportunity to do the assesment again. It took me four goes to pass my driving test, the conseqences of not succeeding would have caused me great inconvienience.
I'm bruised and batterred, my muscles ache, I have been hauled unceremoniously out of the water into the rescue boat. I'm happy with my descision to quit while I'm in one piece, the consequences of not getting the level 2 will have no lasting effect on my life.

This weekend I will be doing my second sailing course, last year I did level 1. Over the course of the weekend I will attempt to get level 2. I'm not certain that I will get the certificate as I shall have to take a small boat out on my own. I have just been sorting out my stuff. Pink wet suit, Pink jacket and Pink buoyancy aid.
This morning I visited a particularly manky house, which didn't bother me too much, that is, until I discovered that I picked up some chewing gum on my skirt and got it all over the car seat! Steve thought I was having a senior moment when he found my skirt, bagged up in the freezer.
Tonight we are having fish & chips from the local, excellent chippy, we don't have them very often, but tonight three friends will join us. I bought some really nice sparkling wine from Lille and I think tonight we shall drink some.
It's been another stressful week, Steve is feeling it too, which is unusual as he doesn't let things get to him. This week he has been insulted and now accused of harassment!

I have just come back from 'Rainbows' to find Steve up in the study and as he said he's busy with his new hobby! He is replying to another e mail, he has now become the target for a certain ladies vitriol. We have taken legal advice and it seems that there is no case against us, but then we knew that. Its just sad that its come to this.

Steve went to Graffham Water in Cambridgeshire for the weekend to take part in a sailing competition. He and and Stu his crew went on Friday morning and returned late on Sunday evening, they had a great time and were triumphant in getting the 'endeavour' trophy, not for actually winning the races, but for their efforts, sportsmanship etc. Well done, especially to Stu who has only just started crewing for Steve.

I had an equally enjoyable weekend. Two nights alone in our super king sized bed, sheer heaven!

On Saturday I had a day out with friends Elaine & Janet. We shopped at Gunwarfe, helped Jan purchase a fabulous outfit for a forthcoming wedding. Sat for hours in the sunshine drinking wine outside 'Cafe Rouge'. We then headed to the cinema where we watched 'Sex & The City'. It was a really fun film which we all enjoyed. We finished the evening eating Italian food before heading home on the Gosport ferry. On Sunday I had a very long lie in, before walking up to see my Mother. On my return home I spent a couple of hours pottering in the garden and a couple of hours reading.

This morning I have spent three hours clearing out cupboards, wardrobes, drawers and the airing cupboard. Its very satisfying now it done, bags and bags for the charity shop, but there was that moment, when surrounded by chaos I thought I should have never started. Clearing out is something I tend to pitch in and do when something is causing me angst. I have received an e mail, threatening action against me if I fail to resolve satisfactorily things between me and A....! I have ignored the email, I just don't know how I can make things right for things which happened before I was born. I am being accused of metering out diabolical treatment and of emotional subterfuge!
There is I know a time when I need to speak to my Mother about this as I'm sure this lady is bound to make contact with her again.

Ian is now in Japan, I had a long chat, but didn't mention the above to him as I don't want in anyway spoil his trip. Ian will be attending a conference where he will be giving a couple of presentations.
I had a lovely Chat with Matt yesterday. He is sounding very happy with life:).

The bank holiday weekend is drawing to an end. Yesterday Steve spent the day teaching sailing, I spent the morning catching up with household chores and in the afternoon I went to see my friend Elaine, we chatted most of the afternoon. Our plan today were to stay at home, the day started with torrential rain which looked like it was set for the day. Steve spent the morning doing important stuff on the computer, I spent the morning being totally chilled, stretched out on the sofa engrossed in a book, well after all it is a holiday. By early afternoon the rain had stopped, the sun had started to shine and the urge to hibernate dissipated, so we drove to Stokes Bay and walked along the coast to Fort Gillkicker and stood at the entrance of Portsmouth harbour, before walking back in the glorious sunshine to have a drink at a little cafe at Stokes Bay. It turned out to be a glorious afternoon which would have been wasted by staying in the house. In Southsea some houses were affected by flooding and also in Southampton.

Rebecca sent a message to say that their 9 month old little puppy 'Ken' had been involved in a collision with a car this morning and sadly was killed, not sure exactly how it happenend but both she and Simon are devastated.

I have just returned from a lovely day out in the Hampshire countryside. Three friends and I went to a 'Waitrose Food Festival'. It was held in the beautiful parkland of Leckford House a property bought by John Spedan Lewis in 1928 and is still owned by Waitrose. It was indeed a festival of food. There were stalls from all over the local area, with produce sold in local Waitrose stores. I bought Steve some Hampshire Stilton from the producer who had made it. We wandered from stall to stall where there was an abundance of food to taste, cheese, wine, cider, ham. flapjacks and bread to name just a few. No wonder we didn't need lunch. We had a lovely walk in the water gardens which were abundant with colour and fragrances. Unfortunately the pollen was very strong and my eyes streamed, I'm not usually a hay fever sufferer, although a few years ago I developed seasonal asthma, but I didn't let it spoil my day out. On the way home we stopped off in the very pretty Market town of Stockbridge for a cream tea.

Another weekend approaches, it's bank holiday, not a longer weekend for me than usual as I am lucky to work part time and thus have a long weekend every week! I usually work on a Friday morning but today I accompanied Steve to see his cardiologist. Steve had his heart scanned, he and the Dr were happy for me to be there and it was pretty amazing to see the images on the screen. Steve has to go back and have an MRI, but the good news is that the chambers of his heart and his valves are all healthy. The consultant reassured us that Atrial Fibrillation isn't life threatening, but its likely that Steve's condition will be treatable in his lifetime. Steve may have to increase his medication, possibly need a pacemaker and in a few years need surgery!!! Steve wouldn't allow me to take him to get medical help when he had a really severe episode a while back, but the Dr has given advise and if another severe episode happens I have been advised to get him checked out. Steve was delighted because Dr Jones kept referring to him as young.

Tomorrow I'm off to Stockbridge which is a market town to the west of the county. Waitrose have a country house and farm there, which I believe was bought by the founder of the company in 1928. This weekend they stage an event which includes, cookery demonstrations, food tasting and a look at their farm. I'm sure I will come back with lots of goodies. I'm going with three friends, but feel a bit trepidatious, just in case I bump into A who is a big fan of 'Waitrose' and lives quite close by!

Work has been really hectic, were even more short staffed and with a colleague on holiday its been hard going. I have been taking antibiotics for an annoying infection and could have easily had a day or two off, but the guilt of leaving colleagues in a worse state meant I went in. I wasn't contagious, but I was feeling decidedly off colour. I had to drink copious amounts of water and needed to be close to the loo.
Were off to a farewell party tomorrow evening as friends of ours are emigrating to Australia. Barbara and I have known each other since our elder children were babies. She has since remarried and is off on this big adventure. I know she has concerns at moving away from her grown up children, but I'm sure they will take the advantage of holidays in Oz and communication is so good now.

Its back to work today after a very busy weekend. Ian was home and an enjoyable time we had. On Saturday evening Christo came over for dinner with his girlfriend Naomi and a great evening we had. We cooked on the raclette and drank a lot of wine! Steve and Ian went out for a sail together on Sunday morning and we watched the film 'Ratatouille' in the evening. Yesterday I got up at 6.00 to take Ian to the station as he had to get to Swindon for a course. Before we see Ian again he will have been to a conference in Kyoto, where he has a presentation to give. Later on in the summer he will speak at a conference in New York. Before coming back to the UK he will travel to and Boston and spend a few days with David my cousin.

I certainly picked the right days to use up my leave. I worked on Tuesday, but was off the rest of the week. I know I'm at risk of sounding boring by talking about the weather, but it has been fantastic, wall to wall sunshine. Living on the coast is wonderful all year, but especially when the weather is as glorious as it has been the last couple of days. I have used my leave quite efficiently. Meetings with friends, shopping with my Mother, Dr's, opticians, and hairdressers appointments all fitted in.
Today I'm off to help at the a rainbow sleepover:) Its the second one I have attended and I can't begin to hope that this one will be as good as the last, when all but one child slept the night through.

Summer arrived in Lille the morning after we did. Our journey was easy, how wonderful the channel tunnel is. Thirty five minutes from departure we drove onto French soil. The journey on the motorway from Calais to Lille was smooth, although getting into the car park proved too challenging, so we parked the car in a shopping centre car park and walked the short distance to our accommodation. We had booked into the 'Citadel' one of a chain. It was an excellent place to stay, clean and modern with a little kitchenette, what a bargain It was as well. Our first evening out was spent at a Creperie, the service was excellent and the Gallettes were delicious. The food we ate all weekend was superb, from the bread, croissants and coffee for petit dejenuer (my apologies to any language teachers reading this) taken at small cafe's to the wonderful Sunday lunch of fresh fish eaten at a little restaurant overlooking the wonderful market. The indoor food market was amazing with a colourful variety of fish, fruit, veg, pastries and cheese. The meat wasn't quite so attractive. Lille was a very attractive city, with lots of pretty squares and wonderful buildings. It felt a very safe place to be, everyone was very friendly, there were a small number of people begging on the street, but not as many as you'd see in London or other European cities.

We ended our weekend with a trip to Carreforre where we bought some French goodies, not too much, some wine, some raclette cheese and a few bottles of wine!

The weekend's drawing closer and I'm really looking forward to the trip to Lille. We leave on Friday lunchtime and I can't wait. After the past couple of weeks, which have been very stressful, I can't wait to get away with Jan, Sandy and Elaine. My nephew rang me yesterday, having been contacted by Ian, he wanted to reassure me that the recent happenings were inevitable and that I shouldn't blame myself. Ian will be home in two weeks and has invited his cousin over for dinner one evening.

No more e mails and I'm beginning to feel a bit less sick about the situation that has arisen. Last night an American supper at the home of Elaine & Brian. The company was excellent and the food amazing. I vacated our bed in the middle of the night for the spare room as Steve's snoring was louder than usual. Today a trip to the garden centre and not much else planned, apart from catching up on last night episode of Dr Who, can't say I like Catherine or is Katherine Tate's acting.
I have been checking the weather forecast for Lille, so far its showing wet all week with a miraculous change to sunshine and 17c on Thursday, perhaps that will be the start of a great few days. I have looked out my passport and 50 Euros over from previous trips. Oh it would make such sense if we gave up the pound along with the rest of Europe.
Well I'd better go and get out of my pj's.

Because of the events of the past week and other messages received today, I have decided that I have to step back from a relationship that has now gone pear shaped. I would very much have liked this to work out, but I don't need the confrontation and the unfair accusations that have been levied at me. I rate myself as a reasonable sort of person. My immediate family are the most important people in my life. I have very good friends who's friendship I value. Steve has now read the messages and he is cross at the way I have been treated. Tonight I'm going out and I'm going to have a glass of wine or two or maybe more!

The last week has been very mixed. A lovely weekend when Dot visited, but downhill from then! On Monday I received the first of a string of e mails from my half sister. The first being accusational, I somehow have turned into the Villain of the piece! What prompted this was that I was unable to accept an invitation for Steve and I to go over to dinner! The explanation that I had given was seen as prevaricating and that Steve didn't want to go. In part true, Steve is reluctant, but the reason I gave of Steve doing more travelling and that weekdays weren't easy to predict where he would be was absolutely true. The e mails have passed between since Tuesday, I have tried to be understanding, to apologise for any hurt that may been caused, but every mail I have received has been more and more confrontational. I haven't replied to the last yet. I talked to Ian about it, he gives wise counsel, I have only briefly mentioned it to Steve without going into detail or showing him the correspondence, he is suffer ring with a bad back, had an A/F episode and has the consultants appointment tomorrow. I don't want to cause him any unnecessary stress!
.

After a couple of weeks of worrying, today I saw a gynaecologist. I came away with good news, the symptoms I have been experiencing have no sinister cause. Whatever the cause, I wasn't given a clear explanation! The Doctor who I saw had absolutely no communication skills and his spoken English was poor. While I am sure that the man was highly qualified in his field, am I totally unreasonable to expect to understand what is said by the medic who is treating me. I had received in the post a six page questionnaire, when I tried to give it to the Dr he didn't want it. Why had I bothered carefully filling in all the most intimate details of my medical history. Should I complain?

On Monday Steve and I celebrated 29 years of marriage. We had an evening out together, we had a drink at 'The Custom House' followed by a meal at 'Cafe Rouge' at Gunwarfe Quays. It was a lovely evening. We have a great life, but it seems rarely that just the two of us go out together. Unfortunately I was sick all night, was it food poisoning or a bug? I was in bed all day yesterday. I spent the time dozing, looking look across the Solent at the Isle of Wight, reading and I even watched a dvd. Its was glorious day, just right for a walk along the beach, but I didn't go anywhere. It was a work day, but I called in sick as I defiantly shouldn't have gone anywhere near anyones precious little babies! Fortunately today is my day off, so I can take it a Little easy today as still feeling a little wobbly at the moment. I had decided against doing any 'bank' hours today as Dot is arriving on Friday for a long weekend and I had planned to get things ready for her visit. Steve & I are both looking forward to seeing her. Oh I did manage to organise an online Tesco shop from my sick bed which will arrive on Friday morning, hopefully before Dot.

Rebecca has asked if we would look after her two babies overnight in July, they will be 20 months and 6 months by then. I'm really chuffed that she feels happy to leave her precious children with us. Being late to parenthood, means that Rebecca's children only have one grandparent. Mari is a doting Granny, but has arrived at Grannyhood in her 70's which means that she isn't able to look after both her grandchildren for that period of time. Rebecca has suggested bringing them here, but it may be better if we go to their home. Plenty of time to sort it out.

It may be April, we may live on the South coast where the climate is mild, but this morning we had snow. I awoke at about 8.00am when it was sleeting, within fifteen minutes the snow was falling in big chunks. It only snowed for about an 1.5 hour, but long and hard enough to leave a good covering. The local children were out building snowmen and the slipway which is used to launch sail boats was being used for skiing. Its been cold for the rest of the day, but the sun has shone and the snow has melted. We had home made soup for lunch, it had been in the freezer since Christmas and it was just the thing to warm us up.
Today I have planned a trip with three girlfriend to Lille in May. We shall stay for three nights and travel by car through the tunnel. I love doing things with Steve, but I feel so liberated when I do things with the girls. (well not quite girls). These three particular girls are friends that I have made since our move here four years ago, their husbands sail with Steve and we have fun in other ways. What blessings!
Tomorrow I'm going to Romsey to have lunch with my sister Annie.