Oooh I have just been watching 'Strictly Come Dancing'. I love it, not enough to pick up the phone and ever vote. I have such envy for anyone who can dance as I haven't been gifted with any talent for dance, rhythm or sport. A few years ago Steve and I had some dancing lessons while on a cruise ship. It was fun, we were awful, Steve being 6ft 4" and me being 5ft 3" didn't help. We would make John Sergent look really good. We went about three times until some 'awful' woman stopped us one day and told us we were the talk of her dinner table because we made her laugh so much! That was the end of the lessons as Steve wouldn't go to any more of them.

For days now I have had tremendous tension in my shoulders. Steve when requested will massage the taut muscles. Now I'm feeling so relaxed and the thing that did it was an hour of pilates. I started attending the classes in September and I've enjoyed every class. I'm not good at it, the stretches and moves are not easy, but because for the whole hour you can't think of anything else I come away feeling totally refreshed! I should do more of it.
My friend Sue is experiencing the joy of becoming a Grandmother, her daughter Louise now has a daughter of her own, Daisy. Congratulations to them all.

We have had a reasonably quiet weekend, no social events which has been rather nice. Yesterday I went out to take my Mother shopping. Her request had been to go ASDA. My idea of a nightmare at anytime, but at 11.00am on a Saturday morning with Mum who has only been out once in nearly 4 weeks and that had been a trip to the Doctors for a blood test. It took a little persuasion, but Mum did agree that a trip to the local Coop was probably more realistic. Sadly, yesterday for the first time I realised that my Mother is an old lady! My Mother needed support around the store, which took us a very long time to navigate. When we got back to her home she had to have a lie down as she was exhausted. What next I wonder? Am I worrying unnecessarily, is my imagination working overtime and why do I feel this tremendous guilt because I cannot spend more time with my Mother.
At this time of year I always start to get stressed about Christmas and this year its even worse than ever. We are due for a week in Dorset with Steve's family and I'm sure we will have a great time. I have asked my Mother to join us, but she doesn't want to and I know she wouldn't be happy surrounded by the 'Rickard's'. Denise has said that she will try and get down to spend Christmas with her, but Mum doesn't want that either!
My anxieties always arise around the present buying. I have had fun buying toys online for the two wee ones, but its everyone else I get in a stew about, particularly sons! I'd like to suggest a more charitable Christmas and if someone buys me a present from Oxfam, such as a goat or a health check for someone in a desolate part of the world I will be delighted!
I visited my friend Elaine in hospital yesterday, she has had a 'knee replacement', I'm glad that she seems to be making a very good recovery. She is in the RN hospital Hasler which sadly is closing soon!

I have had a lovely day in London, where I met my friend Claudia. I enjoyed the luxury of the train journey, a magazine, a book to read and the conversation between two elderly gentlemen kept me entertained for the duration. I wonder if they realised that I was eavesdropping.
I had arranged to meet Claudia outside Portcullis House. It was a bit touch and go as Claudia didn't seem to be able to receive my texts or calls, so I had to ring Steve who e mailed Patrick in his office, who was able to tell Claudia that I was waiting for her. After I had been photographed, bags X rayed and frisked I was in the administrative buildings of Parliament . I hadn't seen Claudia for ages so we decided to stay in the buildings of Westminster as we wanted to Chat and Chat and Chat. Our day was spent drinking coffee, having lunch and meandering along the corridors of power.

Today is Armistice day. Last night while trawling through Internet sights of World War 1 casualties. I found out that my great Uncle Harold died at Ypres on 31st November 1917 at the age of 22. My Granny didn't talk much about her 3 brothers, two who died in the Great War, today at 11.00am I will think of those young men and of my Granny who's life was so affected by the awful human slaughter in the trenches across Europe.

This week I have done something twice which in the past I have refused to do. I absolutely hated doing it, but I bought my Mother cigarettes. Eeeek I feel really bad about it. I know at the age of 78, having had two minor strokes and two heart attacks she shouldn't be smoking. Why couldn't I say no to her request. I wanted to shout out in the supermarket, that these horrible things are not for me! Steve tells me that I shouldn't nag my Mother to give up, but buying them for her is something I thought I'd never do! Fortunately my Mother is getting better, perhaps in a week or so she may get to buy her Mayfair herself. 'Mayfair' what a grand name for something that is so destructive. Am I failing as a daughter? I have just added some apple pies to my online Tesco list at my Mother's request. She shouldn't have these either because of her diabetes.

Steve cooked dinner tonight, as simple as it was, it was delicious. Yesterday I had baked meringues for a dessert I am making to take to an American Supper on Friday evening. There was a bowl of egg yolks in the fridge, so Steve made omelette's and they were delicious.

It was Guy Fawkes last night and in Lee On Solent they do it well. All evening from dusk onwards the fireworks were going off, I left the living room curtains open so I could watch the sky light up. This morning I went for an early morning walk and the beach and roads were covered in spent fireworks, I wonder who will clear away all the debris? My walk didn't take me very far as I'd ventured out in new trainers which rubbed and I'd only gone half a mile before I had to turn around as my heels were being rubbed raw. I took off my shoes and walked home in my socks.

The picture of my Mother was taken in 2004.

I have been back to work this week following a week off sick then annual leave. It's been a very busy week, lots of home visits, development assessments and teaching baby massage. Frustration with a training IT system on which I was supposed to have registered by yesterday. This didn't happen, I have e mailed the support team, left messages on their answer phone and I'm still not on the system. Fortunately many other people are having the same problems. so I'm not completely stupid.

My Mother is getting better, she can't see it, but every day I see an improvement. Each day Mum requests that I do something else and today I'm off to clean her flat, thank goodness its only small and won't take too long. Steve is coming up with me as she has a couple of jobs for him as well:) Understandably she refused the offer of moving in here to recuperate. It may have made it physically easier for me, but it's probably better for us to have our own space!



This afternoon I plan to indulge myself with reading one of the books I got from the library and haven't had a chance to open yet.

Last night I had one of those heart stopping moments. Steve was out and I received from him a text which read ' From today I'm officially jobless, I got a good redundancy package'!

I went cold, the thought of Steve being out of work was bad enough, but It didn't make sense that he would drop a bombshell like that in a text message. He had kissed me goodbye before he went out and we had met in his lunch break for refreshment and a walk along the beach. A couple of minutes later just as I was seriously thinking our 3o + relationship was a sham, the phone rang and it was Steve apologising profusely. The message sent had originally come from his Sister Rebecca and he had forwarded to me and then the realisation of how it read hit him!

Rebecca had been waiting for confirmation of her redundancy from the company that had taken over the division of Lehmann Bros. Rebecca had volunteered and was waiting for the settlement, so no shock for her. With two babies I don't know what Rebecca is planning, it maybe that she is planning sometime at home with her children.

Yesterday the weather was atrocious, strong winds and torrential rain for most of the day. It was the sort of day where hibernating seemed like the ideal plan. I did have to go out a couple of times, to visit my Mother in the morning and again in the evening to take her a meal. She is recovering, but very slowly. Later that morning I left a message on my twin sister's mobile, its many months since we chatted, she rarely if ever responds to my messages and is usually quite 'off' with me at anytime we do speak. I was quite surprised that Denise returned my call and was actually friendly and chatty!
This morning I was supposed to transport my Mother to the surgery for a blood test, but I had to cancel it as she isn't mobile enough to get out. I also had an appointment to see my GP. She sent me off for a blood test and I was able to take the same appointment that I had cancelled earlier. I also had to have an x ray which I was able to have done this afternoon. Isn't the NHS wonderful when it works. I have been having difficulties with the joints in my hands and as I suspected its the early signs of arthritis. The tests are to find out if its rheumatoid or osteo. It is most likely to be osteoarthritis which is aged related! Ooh dear is 50 really old!
Tomorrow I'm back at work after two weeks absence, the first due to sickness and the next for annual leave. I'm looking forward to it, though I will have to try and fit in the work I missed during my sick leave!

This morning I had a telephone call from my Mother. My Mum had fallen in her bedroom and was in a lot of pain from an injury to her back. She told me that the fall had been a couple of days before and she hadn't been able to sleep because of the pain. I felt so awful because I'd been home from our holiday over 24 hours and I hadn't called her, instead I had spent the day doing the washing and shopping and my plan had been to call into day after a trip to the hairdresser!
The Dr made a house call and pronounced that he didn't think she had done any lasting damage, she had probably twisted her back and was probably bruised internally. Pain killing gel and strong pain killers were prescribed by the GP and collected by me from the chemists. Advice from the kindly Dr was that it could take two or three weeks to recover.

This morning at I.00 am we arrived back from our holiday. We have been to Germany for 6 days and had driven down to see Friederike & Vic in Munich. Our plan was to take it nice and easy and drive back with a couple of stopovers with plenty of time for sightseeing. We didn't pre book any where to stay and getting accommodation on spec worked well.
Our first night was at Heidelberg, we arrived there after an afternoon spent at Rothenberg a beautiful walled medieval city. Steve had been to Rothenberg before about 20 years before on business and it was well worth a visit. Sadly I spent some time in the all year Christmas shop. After a night in a lovely hotel, we visited the schloss in Heidelberg, having nearly killed myself walking up the hundreds of stairs we discovered the funicular railway! We revived ourselves with delicious coffee and cake and moved further north to our last stop in Aachen.
After booking into the hotel we discovered that the wallet containing our passports and insurance documents were back in Heidelberg!!! After a few stress full phone calls and the realisation that we were unable to arrange for posting/courier for our paperwork we knew that we would have to drive back for three hours to collect the documents. We were both tired and decided that we would have a meal and some sleep before driving back the next day. We saw Aachen by night and had the best meal in a small Italian restaurant. My apologies to anyone who thinks German food is good, but apart from the cake and what our hosts prepared for us I don't particularly enjoy the cuisine. I chose a Capresse salad as I was yearning for fresh veg and I couldn't face garlic bread as I was totally breaded out! After an early breakfast of fruit & yogurt we were on the road by 7.00am yesterday morning. We spent six hours extra driving and in reality the time spent on the road yesterday was the same if we had driven back from Munich in one go. Oh well, we had a great time with our friends and things were going really well until Tuesday night! I would go by road again as it was so nice to see the countryside and take our time. Neither of us have apportioned blame for the forgotten documents, but I can say it wasn't me who tucked them away in a draw for safe keeping:).
I'm not a great shopper, but I do really enjoy shopping in Europe, so I was a bit disappointed that I wasn't able to go around the kitchen shops in Aachen. Oh well, there will always be another time.

Why have I been on the sofa since 5.00am? The answer is because ones husband had a night out with the sailing committee and has been snoring outrageously since the early hours! Admittedly I could have gone to a bed in another room, but I am too awake to get back to sleep. I'm feeling a lot better than I did yesterday, though the fog in my head hasn't lifted yet. I shall have the day off today, my colleagues have cancelled my work for the day, which is probably sensible as I don't want to inflict either any parents or child with this horrible little bug!

We have a trip to Europe planned at the end of the week. Our grand tour will take us to visit our friends in Germany. The trip is a bit of a compromise, because of Steve's little problem with his ticker. We have been advised to not travel out of Europe and to keep Steve happy I have agreed that we will drive instead of flying! I must be mad! Were due to leave on Thursday afternoon. We will catch the ferry from Dover to Calais and drive into Belgium where we stay overnight, driving down to Munich on Friday. We will probably stay with Friederike, Victor & Theresa until Monday, really looking forward to seeing them all again. Our Ferry isn't booked, so we can potter back at our own pace!

I realise the picture of Friederike isn't a good one, but I don't know how to delete it. Sorry Fred!

Can I really be spending another day between the sofa and bed? Yes, still feeling pretty yuk! Have been watching daytime tv, do people really watch Jeremy Kyle?

I had to stay home for most of yesterday as a super doopa air bed that was delivered last week in error was being picked up by a delivery man. The correct super doopa air bed that we had originally ordered and more superior to the first, was to be collected by yet a different delivery man! The collection went well and while waiting for the delivery of the right bed, the shopping arrived from Tesco.
I had ordered the ingredients to make some Christmas puddings and set forth. Weighing, peeling and mixing. I had decided to make more than usual and to give them to some friends. Two hours later and with a great deal of rum added, I had two large mixing bowls full! At this stage I realised that I didn't have enough pudding basins! A trip into Gosport was planned for after the delivery.
It wasn't too long before the delivery man banged on the door and would you believe he had brought the same model of bed, that a few hours ago had been sent back! The delivery driver very nicely told me that he couldn't take it back, so next Tuesday, Steve will work from home and hopefully it will be third time lucky.

After a trip to the shops and more Pyrex purchased I came home and filled and covered the bowls, ready for steaming today!
Having researched cooking on the web, I decided that I was going to cook them in a different way. Some in a Ban Marie, slow steaming in the oven. Elaine had offered me the use of her pressure cook which would reduce the cooking time by two thirds for one or two of the puds. I set the oven for 6, so the process could begin before I awoke.

Elaine arrived halfway through the morning, without the pressure cooker, I didn't like to mention it, but it wasn't long before she realised and we had a laugh about her senior moment! I refused Elaine's offer of going home, instead we had coffee and we sampled a small pudding which I'd cooked last night as a trial in the Ban Marie. (It was delicious).

It's been a glorious day, although I didn't mind being at home as I had woken up with my throat feeling like it was being cut wit razor blades and knew I wouldn't be wanting to go far. I did wander over to the seafront to watch the sailing for a little time.

At 4.00pm Christo & Naomi arrived as expected to collect a television that we had offered them previously. Just before they arrived I couldn't believe the condescending E mail I received from A telling me she had no problem with with us giving the television to Christo as longs as it was completely safe! We had a lovely couple of hours, before they left to have dinner at Christo's parents. They were both not looking forward to it as they said having spoken to the lady by phone earlier in the day they were in for a rough evening.

Tomorrow I have a trip out with some friends planned, at the moment I don't think I will be going as my sore throat is turning into a streaming cold:(.

As is usual I'm up first on this Sunday morning. We have friends staying after a very pleasant evening. It was prize giving for the cadets at the sailing club and as one of the trainers Steve was there. I didn't go, but had earlier in the day prepared a lasagna, so six of us had supper afterwards, a very relaxed, easy evening. Today I have no plans, already it looks like it will be one of those days where unless you really have to go out you should stay cocooned in the house. The rain has been relentless for the past 24 hours and the wind has been wild. Steve was disappointed that the sailing was cancelled yesterday afternoon, he didn't feel the same about the work in the garden that he had planned for the morning. Instead of out door jobs, Steve spent some time doing some much put of work in the house. Neither of us are greatly into DIY, Steve would rather sail when the weather permits and rather than pay a professional we would both prefer to spend our money on holidays. Hence why we chose a relatively modern house for this phase of our lives, we are defiantly not project people.

Steve saw his specialist on Tuesday. Steve is now being monitored on his new medication and if this doesn't keep his arrhythmia in check he faces surgery, we will face that if it becomes a reality. We have a weeks holiday from work in a couple of weeks, our plan had been that we would take a last minute trip to Europe. Steve is happy to go, I feel a little bit reluctant, we need to talk about it and check out our travel insurance.

This week I had a lovely surprise, I had an e mail from Lynn. Lynn was actually more my sister's friend than mine. Lynn's father was in the marines and they moved to Singapore in the very early 70's, when they returned to the UK the family settled in the west country. I haven't seen Lynn since the very tearful party her family gave before they left Portsmouth and they flew to Singapore. Denise once visited Lynn in Plymouth, but there friendship disintegrated at that point!
Lynn and I kept in touch by letters through the years, Lynn married & divorced and she had two children. The last time I heard from Lynn her partner had sadly died, this was about five years ago and then our communication sort of stopped. Last year I sent a letter to the last address I had and it was returned. I sent messages to a few young people via facebook, who I thought were maybe Lynn's children, but this proved futile.
This week I received an e mail from Lynn, she had found an old letter from me and I was absolutely delighted to hear from her. Lynn has a new partner, I certainly won't lose touch again, it's been nearly forty years since I saw her and I think I shall make an effort to go and see her.

It's more than a week since I have written here, a lot has happened including a trip to Lille. We had expected to have a difficult time as we were booked to go through the euro tunnel and expected disruptions due to the fire in the tunnel the previous week. We arrived in plenty of time and went to get a coffee in the departures hall. Unbelievably we were the only four customers, there wasn't another person who wasn't a member of staff in the building. An assistant in the cosmetics shop told us that hoards of people had cancelled their bookings since the fire. I wonder if they were scared, although I think it must be a pretty safe time to go, after all the safety procedures have all been tested!
We were staying in Elaine's son & daughter in law's flat, which is a ten minute walk from the centre of the city. After our arrival we wandered into the city where we sat & had a drink in the sunshine in a city centre square. It was the end of the working day and the locals were out enjoying the early evening sunshine. We had a leisurely meal, its so wonderful how the French restaurateurs do not rush their customers out in order to accommodate others coming in for tables. People who were looking for tables were sent away as there was no space. Here diners at the end of their meals are often rushed to pay the bill and vacate a table.
Saturday was another lovely day, lunch for the guys were 'Moule', neither Elaine or I like them, but we did have a platter of smoked salmon with Kir to drink. That evening we had another nice meal, followed by a drink in a bar owned by a woman from Dublin.
On Sunday afternoon, Steve began to feel unwell, oh yes, again his heart was playing up. Elaine and I had been to the local food market so we planned a meal in the flat. On Monday we visited the local supermarket to stock up on a few goodies before heading home. Fortunately we had put Brian on the car insurance so he was able to drive home as Steve's heart was continuing to be erratic.
Yesterday morning we attended the GP surgery and the GP arranged for Steve to be admitted to hospital, fortunately this morning after drug therapy Steve's heart returned to its normal rhythm and he was released from the mad house of the medical assessment unit, two of it's patients were definatly in the wrong category of hospital! Steve has been home and has been sleeping for a few hours, we are both relieved that the 'Cardio aversion' theraphy * that was threatened wasn't carried out. * heart stopped and re started by electic shock.

Tomorrow evening I'm attending a Pilate's class for the first time. Exercise isn't really my thing. I have never been athletic, my lack of coordination and my clumsiness are well known. Over the past few years I have done aqua aerobics, though walking is really the only exercise I enjoy doing and started regularly about ten years ago in my bid to loose serious weight. I have been advised by the consultant I have been seeing about pain from a nerve in my stomach to give Pilate's a try, in order to strengthen my 'core muscles'. I think these muscles are shot to pieces after carrying babies of nearly 10 pounds! I will take my place tomorrow at the back of the class where I hope I won't be seen by many people.e
Rebecca along with 5,000 people has lost her job with Lehman brothers. She is on maternity leave for the second time and was hoping that she might get a third lot out of them. Now she will have to decide if she is looking for another job or going to become a full time Mum to two or maybe three in the future.
Steve & I are looking forward to a long weekend in Lille with friends. Were due to go through the channel tunnel, although the fire last week has caused chaos and delays so we don't know yet if we will be driving onto the train or taking a ferry.

We have just returned home after a walk on the sea front, we called in on my Mum. It would have been so easy to have stayed at home and hibernate as its very wintery, well perhaps autumnal. I spent the morning cooking, not sure why I suddenly got the urge to fill up the freezer with sauces, casseroles and fish cakes, but I did. I really enjoy cooking, but on work days I find I just want to be able to prepare a good meal quickly. We have lots of friends who enjoy eating and drinking so there is plenty of occasions when I can cook for pleasure. Where did I learn to cook? Was it watching my Mother or the domestic science lessons at secondary school? I can remember visits to Pirbright where I was allowed to bake, Auntie Esther was more relaxed than Mum and she didn't mind the mess that we caused. Often people will say they can't cook, but my thought is that 'if you can read you can cook'. Perhaps I'm wrong, although I think you do have to enjoy food to be able to cook it. I love watching cookery programmes and I have a fair few cook books.

My oldest was a wedding present from my friend Kate's Mum. It has long lost it's cover, the pages are yellow, some are stuck together with remnants of cake ingredients. It is the one I use regularly, it holds the recipe for the Christmas cake that I make every year, I use many of the other cake recipes, no longer for children's birthday cakes, but mostly when I bake for the sailing club. In the front of the book are tables which convert metric into imperial and these I use often as I still can't think in metric. Thank you Mrs Edward's your present has given me many years of enjoyment.

Only one more working day left this week. Today it's been manic. 6 home visits. I have assessed babies development, advised on a four year old's behaviour and comforted a tearful pregnant, mother of two. Last night I came home from work exhausted, slept for two hours, went to bed at 10.00pm and still slept until 7.00 this morning. Most of my friends will be envious of the amount of sleep that I get. This evening I arrived home, again shattered, but decided that I would resist the desire to lay on the sofa which would have inevitably have led to slumber. Instead, I went for long walk along the seafront. I came home invigorated, cooked a lovely meal of Gnocci with salmon and now I'm on the sofa trying to stay awake so I can watch 'Who do you think you are' at 9.00pm.

Yesterday it was summer all day. The sailing club had their regatta this weekend and I stayed out the way, although I did bake some cakes for the refreshments. Last night after fish & chips for twelve in our garden we went along to the regatta dance at the sailing club, the band was awful. it was stinking hot so four of us girls wandered down to the beach, stripped off and had a midnight swim, it was wonderfully refreshing and very liberating, though fortunately it was very dark and we couldn't be seen from the road:)