It's now well into 2009 and after a week at work I'm getting used to writing the date on records. How long will it be before I make the first error?
Memory is a strange thing, at lunch time today I called in on my friend Elaine. Elaine told me she had searched two days for her passport and couldn't find it. As soon as Elaine said this I remembered that before Christmas I had taken her out in my car to the building society, Elaine's cards had been compromised and subsequently stopped, thus she needed to take her passport for identification to obtain cash. Elaine was walking on crutches at this time as she was recuperating from surgery. I recalled that Elaine had asked me to put her wallet containing her passport and cheque book into my bag. We were able to piece together the events and although up until today's conversation Elaine hadn't remembered. I recalled that I had telephoned her the same evening to tell her I had inadvertently taken her wallet at home. So where was the passport now? Had I returned it to her, I couldn't for the life of me remember, but I did know where it would be if I had put it somewhere safe. Elaine came home with me and lo and behold I found the documents in my filing cabinet under P:) Thank Goodness Elaine doesn't have to go to London to get a replacement at a cost of nearly £100 in time for a trip she is taking in two weeks.

Good morning 2009 and a very happy new year to all my friends and loved ones. Our new year's eve was spent at home with a few friends. We had a lovely time welcoming in the new year. Elaine who is a Scot advised about the tradition of 'first footing'. Yes, we knew that a tall dark handsome man should be the first over the threshold, bringing with him a piece of coal and a piece of silver. What none of us were aware of was that the same gentleman should bring with him some fish! Well that was according to Elaine's account. After much discussion, a phone call to Elaine's Mother and a check on Wikapedia Elaine was persuaded that she was in fact wrong, but where did she get that information from and will she ever live it down!
I have had a very lazy day today, finished reading Dawn French's book which I received for Christmas and I have watched two films.
Tomorrow I'm planning a trip to Gunwarfe with a Friend, a mooch around the shops, plenty of stops for chat and hot chocolate. Looking forward to doing it again with you really soon Jan.

We returned yesterday form our Christmas holiday in Dorset, the guys have come back with us, although Matt has just left to return to Bedford. Ian will travel back to Sheffield tomorrow.

It was lovely to spend time with Ian and Matt and the extended family. Our days leading up to Christmas were filled for some, with shopping and long walks in the countryside. I did venture out on Monday to the local town of Dortchester, but after that I was hit down by 'the lurghi.' Whether it was flu or not I don't know, but it certainly knocked me for 6 and nearly a week down the line I'm still feeling very week and lethargic. I did manage to get up and participate in celebrating Christmas day, with a few breaks to return to bed to gather my strength! Other members of the family were struck down at various times in the week, though so far those closest to me have remained well.

It's 3.58am and I can't believe that I'm wide awake. I'm not sure what is causing my insomnia of late? So much seems to go buzzing around my head in the wee small hours and along with Steve's snoring, sleep is denied me and this is someone who can usually sleep big time. Perhaps I am a big kid getting excited about Christmas or actually getting excited about seeing first my son Ian and then a few days later my other son Matthew. Do these feelings of attachment ever leave a Mother?
Today will be my last day at work before my long awaited holiday, firstly a baby clinic and then our team's Christmas lunch at a Chinese restaurant in Stubbington. My secret Santa present is wrapped and ready to go.
I think It's time to try some Horlicks, hopefully it may live up to its claim and encourage me to have a few hours sleep. Goodnight.

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted anything here. Were now well into December and I'm counting down the days until our Christmas holiday in Dorset. This time next week we will be spending the first evening in our holiday cottage with some of the family, by this time I'm sure we will be opening the first of a few bottles of wine for the week. Not all of the family will arrive on Saturday as work commitments mean some of the 'children' will come at different times in the run up to Christmas.

Sadly Tacy's step father died suddenly a few days ago, so Tacy, Mike and their children will break away on Monday to attend Bob's funeral. The time when families come together to celebrate a special birth, must be more poignant for those whose loves one has died.

Today I have been putting up a few decorations, as were away for a week, we decided that we wouldn't have a Christmas tree, but nevertheless the house is looking quite festive, with candles and tinsel.

Last night we went to Elaine & Brian's house where they hosted an early birthday party for me, we had a lovely evening with our friends, how lucky I am to have such wonderful new friends. I can't believe its a whole year since my 5oth which I celebrated wonderfully with tea at Claridges.

Oooh I have just been watching 'Strictly Come Dancing'. I love it, not enough to pick up the phone and ever vote. I have such envy for anyone who can dance as I haven't been gifted with any talent for dance, rhythm or sport. A few years ago Steve and I had some dancing lessons while on a cruise ship. It was fun, we were awful, Steve being 6ft 4" and me being 5ft 3" didn't help. We would make John Sergent look really good. We went about three times until some 'awful' woman stopped us one day and told us we were the talk of her dinner table because we made her laugh so much! That was the end of the lessons as Steve wouldn't go to any more of them.

For days now I have had tremendous tension in my shoulders. Steve when requested will massage the taut muscles. Now I'm feeling so relaxed and the thing that did it was an hour of pilates. I started attending the classes in September and I've enjoyed every class. I'm not good at it, the stretches and moves are not easy, but because for the whole hour you can't think of anything else I come away feeling totally refreshed! I should do more of it.
My friend Sue is experiencing the joy of becoming a Grandmother, her daughter Louise now has a daughter of her own, Daisy. Congratulations to them all.

We have had a reasonably quiet weekend, no social events which has been rather nice. Yesterday I went out to take my Mother shopping. Her request had been to go ASDA. My idea of a nightmare at anytime, but at 11.00am on a Saturday morning with Mum who has only been out once in nearly 4 weeks and that had been a trip to the Doctors for a blood test. It took a little persuasion, but Mum did agree that a trip to the local Coop was probably more realistic. Sadly, yesterday for the first time I realised that my Mother is an old lady! My Mother needed support around the store, which took us a very long time to navigate. When we got back to her home she had to have a lie down as she was exhausted. What next I wonder? Am I worrying unnecessarily, is my imagination working overtime and why do I feel this tremendous guilt because I cannot spend more time with my Mother.
At this time of year I always start to get stressed about Christmas and this year its even worse than ever. We are due for a week in Dorset with Steve's family and I'm sure we will have a great time. I have asked my Mother to join us, but she doesn't want to and I know she wouldn't be happy surrounded by the 'Rickard's'. Denise has said that she will try and get down to spend Christmas with her, but Mum doesn't want that either!
My anxieties always arise around the present buying. I have had fun buying toys online for the two wee ones, but its everyone else I get in a stew about, particularly sons! I'd like to suggest a more charitable Christmas and if someone buys me a present from Oxfam, such as a goat or a health check for someone in a desolate part of the world I will be delighted!
I visited my friend Elaine in hospital yesterday, she has had a 'knee replacement', I'm glad that she seems to be making a very good recovery. She is in the RN hospital Hasler which sadly is closing soon!

I have had a lovely day in London, where I met my friend Claudia. I enjoyed the luxury of the train journey, a magazine, a book to read and the conversation between two elderly gentlemen kept me entertained for the duration. I wonder if they realised that I was eavesdropping.
I had arranged to meet Claudia outside Portcullis House. It was a bit touch and go as Claudia didn't seem to be able to receive my texts or calls, so I had to ring Steve who e mailed Patrick in his office, who was able to tell Claudia that I was waiting for her. After I had been photographed, bags X rayed and frisked I was in the administrative buildings of Parliament . I hadn't seen Claudia for ages so we decided to stay in the buildings of Westminster as we wanted to Chat and Chat and Chat. Our day was spent drinking coffee, having lunch and meandering along the corridors of power.

Today is Armistice day. Last night while trawling through Internet sights of World War 1 casualties. I found out that my great Uncle Harold died at Ypres on 31st November 1917 at the age of 22. My Granny didn't talk much about her 3 brothers, two who died in the Great War, today at 11.00am I will think of those young men and of my Granny who's life was so affected by the awful human slaughter in the trenches across Europe.

This week I have done something twice which in the past I have refused to do. I absolutely hated doing it, but I bought my Mother cigarettes. Eeeek I feel really bad about it. I know at the age of 78, having had two minor strokes and two heart attacks she shouldn't be smoking. Why couldn't I say no to her request. I wanted to shout out in the supermarket, that these horrible things are not for me! Steve tells me that I shouldn't nag my Mother to give up, but buying them for her is something I thought I'd never do! Fortunately my Mother is getting better, perhaps in a week or so she may get to buy her Mayfair herself. 'Mayfair' what a grand name for something that is so destructive. Am I failing as a daughter? I have just added some apple pies to my online Tesco list at my Mother's request. She shouldn't have these either because of her diabetes.

Steve cooked dinner tonight, as simple as it was, it was delicious. Yesterday I had baked meringues for a dessert I am making to take to an American Supper on Friday evening. There was a bowl of egg yolks in the fridge, so Steve made omelette's and they were delicious.

It was Guy Fawkes last night and in Lee On Solent they do it well. All evening from dusk onwards the fireworks were going off, I left the living room curtains open so I could watch the sky light up. This morning I went for an early morning walk and the beach and roads were covered in spent fireworks, I wonder who will clear away all the debris? My walk didn't take me very far as I'd ventured out in new trainers which rubbed and I'd only gone half a mile before I had to turn around as my heels were being rubbed raw. I took off my shoes and walked home in my socks.

The picture of my Mother was taken in 2004.

I have been back to work this week following a week off sick then annual leave. It's been a very busy week, lots of home visits, development assessments and teaching baby massage. Frustration with a training IT system on which I was supposed to have registered by yesterday. This didn't happen, I have e mailed the support team, left messages on their answer phone and I'm still not on the system. Fortunately many other people are having the same problems. so I'm not completely stupid.

My Mother is getting better, she can't see it, but every day I see an improvement. Each day Mum requests that I do something else and today I'm off to clean her flat, thank goodness its only small and won't take too long. Steve is coming up with me as she has a couple of jobs for him as well:) Understandably she refused the offer of moving in here to recuperate. It may have made it physically easier for me, but it's probably better for us to have our own space!



This afternoon I plan to indulge myself with reading one of the books I got from the library and haven't had a chance to open yet.

Last night I had one of those heart stopping moments. Steve was out and I received from him a text which read ' From today I'm officially jobless, I got a good redundancy package'!

I went cold, the thought of Steve being out of work was bad enough, but It didn't make sense that he would drop a bombshell like that in a text message. He had kissed me goodbye before he went out and we had met in his lunch break for refreshment and a walk along the beach. A couple of minutes later just as I was seriously thinking our 3o + relationship was a sham, the phone rang and it was Steve apologising profusely. The message sent had originally come from his Sister Rebecca and he had forwarded to me and then the realisation of how it read hit him!

Rebecca had been waiting for confirmation of her redundancy from the company that had taken over the division of Lehmann Bros. Rebecca had volunteered and was waiting for the settlement, so no shock for her. With two babies I don't know what Rebecca is planning, it maybe that she is planning sometime at home with her children.

Yesterday the weather was atrocious, strong winds and torrential rain for most of the day. It was the sort of day where hibernating seemed like the ideal plan. I did have to go out a couple of times, to visit my Mother in the morning and again in the evening to take her a meal. She is recovering, but very slowly. Later that morning I left a message on my twin sister's mobile, its many months since we chatted, she rarely if ever responds to my messages and is usually quite 'off' with me at anytime we do speak. I was quite surprised that Denise returned my call and was actually friendly and chatty!
This morning I was supposed to transport my Mother to the surgery for a blood test, but I had to cancel it as she isn't mobile enough to get out. I also had an appointment to see my GP. She sent me off for a blood test and I was able to take the same appointment that I had cancelled earlier. I also had to have an x ray which I was able to have done this afternoon. Isn't the NHS wonderful when it works. I have been having difficulties with the joints in my hands and as I suspected its the early signs of arthritis. The tests are to find out if its rheumatoid or osteo. It is most likely to be osteoarthritis which is aged related! Ooh dear is 50 really old!
Tomorrow I'm back at work after two weeks absence, the first due to sickness and the next for annual leave. I'm looking forward to it, though I will have to try and fit in the work I missed during my sick leave!

This morning I had a telephone call from my Mother. My Mum had fallen in her bedroom and was in a lot of pain from an injury to her back. She told me that the fall had been a couple of days before and she hadn't been able to sleep because of the pain. I felt so awful because I'd been home from our holiday over 24 hours and I hadn't called her, instead I had spent the day doing the washing and shopping and my plan had been to call into day after a trip to the hairdresser!
The Dr made a house call and pronounced that he didn't think she had done any lasting damage, she had probably twisted her back and was probably bruised internally. Pain killing gel and strong pain killers were prescribed by the GP and collected by me from the chemists. Advice from the kindly Dr was that it could take two or three weeks to recover.

This morning at I.00 am we arrived back from our holiday. We have been to Germany for 6 days and had driven down to see Friederike & Vic in Munich. Our plan was to take it nice and easy and drive back with a couple of stopovers with plenty of time for sightseeing. We didn't pre book any where to stay and getting accommodation on spec worked well.
Our first night was at Heidelberg, we arrived there after an afternoon spent at Rothenberg a beautiful walled medieval city. Steve had been to Rothenberg before about 20 years before on business and it was well worth a visit. Sadly I spent some time in the all year Christmas shop. After a night in a lovely hotel, we visited the schloss in Heidelberg, having nearly killed myself walking up the hundreds of stairs we discovered the funicular railway! We revived ourselves with delicious coffee and cake and moved further north to our last stop in Aachen.
After booking into the hotel we discovered that the wallet containing our passports and insurance documents were back in Heidelberg!!! After a few stress full phone calls and the realisation that we were unable to arrange for posting/courier for our paperwork we knew that we would have to drive back for three hours to collect the documents. We were both tired and decided that we would have a meal and some sleep before driving back the next day. We saw Aachen by night and had the best meal in a small Italian restaurant. My apologies to anyone who thinks German food is good, but apart from the cake and what our hosts prepared for us I don't particularly enjoy the cuisine. I chose a Capresse salad as I was yearning for fresh veg and I couldn't face garlic bread as I was totally breaded out! After an early breakfast of fruit & yogurt we were on the road by 7.00am yesterday morning. We spent six hours extra driving and in reality the time spent on the road yesterday was the same if we had driven back from Munich in one go. Oh well, we had a great time with our friends and things were going really well until Tuesday night! I would go by road again as it was so nice to see the countryside and take our time. Neither of us have apportioned blame for the forgotten documents, but I can say it wasn't me who tucked them away in a draw for safe keeping:).
I'm not a great shopper, but I do really enjoy shopping in Europe, so I was a bit disappointed that I wasn't able to go around the kitchen shops in Aachen. Oh well, there will always be another time.

Why have I been on the sofa since 5.00am? The answer is because ones husband had a night out with the sailing committee and has been snoring outrageously since the early hours! Admittedly I could have gone to a bed in another room, but I am too awake to get back to sleep. I'm feeling a lot better than I did yesterday, though the fog in my head hasn't lifted yet. I shall have the day off today, my colleagues have cancelled my work for the day, which is probably sensible as I don't want to inflict either any parents or child with this horrible little bug!

We have a trip to Europe planned at the end of the week. Our grand tour will take us to visit our friends in Germany. The trip is a bit of a compromise, because of Steve's little problem with his ticker. We have been advised to not travel out of Europe and to keep Steve happy I have agreed that we will drive instead of flying! I must be mad! Were due to leave on Thursday afternoon. We will catch the ferry from Dover to Calais and drive into Belgium where we stay overnight, driving down to Munich on Friday. We will probably stay with Friederike, Victor & Theresa until Monday, really looking forward to seeing them all again. Our Ferry isn't booked, so we can potter back at our own pace!

I realise the picture of Friederike isn't a good one, but I don't know how to delete it. Sorry Fred!

Can I really be spending another day between the sofa and bed? Yes, still feeling pretty yuk! Have been watching daytime tv, do people really watch Jeremy Kyle?

I had to stay home for most of yesterday as a super doopa air bed that was delivered last week in error was being picked up by a delivery man. The correct super doopa air bed that we had originally ordered and more superior to the first, was to be collected by yet a different delivery man! The collection went well and while waiting for the delivery of the right bed, the shopping arrived from Tesco.
I had ordered the ingredients to make some Christmas puddings and set forth. Weighing, peeling and mixing. I had decided to make more than usual and to give them to some friends. Two hours later and with a great deal of rum added, I had two large mixing bowls full! At this stage I realised that I didn't have enough pudding basins! A trip into Gosport was planned for after the delivery.
It wasn't too long before the delivery man banged on the door and would you believe he had brought the same model of bed, that a few hours ago had been sent back! The delivery driver very nicely told me that he couldn't take it back, so next Tuesday, Steve will work from home and hopefully it will be third time lucky.

After a trip to the shops and more Pyrex purchased I came home and filled and covered the bowls, ready for steaming today!
Having researched cooking on the web, I decided that I was going to cook them in a different way. Some in a Ban Marie, slow steaming in the oven. Elaine had offered me the use of her pressure cook which would reduce the cooking time by two thirds for one or two of the puds. I set the oven for 6, so the process could begin before I awoke.

Elaine arrived halfway through the morning, without the pressure cooker, I didn't like to mention it, but it wasn't long before she realised and we had a laugh about her senior moment! I refused Elaine's offer of going home, instead we had coffee and we sampled a small pudding which I'd cooked last night as a trial in the Ban Marie. (It was delicious).

It's been a glorious day, although I didn't mind being at home as I had woken up with my throat feeling like it was being cut wit razor blades and knew I wouldn't be wanting to go far. I did wander over to the seafront to watch the sailing for a little time.

At 4.00pm Christo & Naomi arrived as expected to collect a television that we had offered them previously. Just before they arrived I couldn't believe the condescending E mail I received from A telling me she had no problem with with us giving the television to Christo as longs as it was completely safe! We had a lovely couple of hours, before they left to have dinner at Christo's parents. They were both not looking forward to it as they said having spoken to the lady by phone earlier in the day they were in for a rough evening.

Tomorrow I have a trip out with some friends planned, at the moment I don't think I will be going as my sore throat is turning into a streaming cold:(.

As is usual I'm up first on this Sunday morning. We have friends staying after a very pleasant evening. It was prize giving for the cadets at the sailing club and as one of the trainers Steve was there. I didn't go, but had earlier in the day prepared a lasagna, so six of us had supper afterwards, a very relaxed, easy evening. Today I have no plans, already it looks like it will be one of those days where unless you really have to go out you should stay cocooned in the house. The rain has been relentless for the past 24 hours and the wind has been wild. Steve was disappointed that the sailing was cancelled yesterday afternoon, he didn't feel the same about the work in the garden that he had planned for the morning. Instead of out door jobs, Steve spent some time doing some much put of work in the house. Neither of us are greatly into DIY, Steve would rather sail when the weather permits and rather than pay a professional we would both prefer to spend our money on holidays. Hence why we chose a relatively modern house for this phase of our lives, we are defiantly not project people.

Steve saw his specialist on Tuesday. Steve is now being monitored on his new medication and if this doesn't keep his arrhythmia in check he faces surgery, we will face that if it becomes a reality. We have a weeks holiday from work in a couple of weeks, our plan had been that we would take a last minute trip to Europe. Steve is happy to go, I feel a little bit reluctant, we need to talk about it and check out our travel insurance.

This week I had a lovely surprise, I had an e mail from Lynn. Lynn was actually more my sister's friend than mine. Lynn's father was in the marines and they moved to Singapore in the very early 70's, when they returned to the UK the family settled in the west country. I haven't seen Lynn since the very tearful party her family gave before they left Portsmouth and they flew to Singapore. Denise once visited Lynn in Plymouth, but there friendship disintegrated at that point!
Lynn and I kept in touch by letters through the years, Lynn married & divorced and she had two children. The last time I heard from Lynn her partner had sadly died, this was about five years ago and then our communication sort of stopped. Last year I sent a letter to the last address I had and it was returned. I sent messages to a few young people via facebook, who I thought were maybe Lynn's children, but this proved futile.
This week I received an e mail from Lynn, she had found an old letter from me and I was absolutely delighted to hear from her. Lynn has a new partner, I certainly won't lose touch again, it's been nearly forty years since I saw her and I think I shall make an effort to go and see her.