We have had a reasonably quiet weekend, no social events which has been rather nice. Yesterday I went out to take my Mother shopping. Her request had been to go ASDA. My idea of a nightmare at anytime, but at 11.00am on a Saturday morning with Mum who has only been out once in nearly 4 weeks and that had been a trip to the Doctors for a blood test. It took a little persuasion, but Mum did agree that a trip to the local Coop was probably more realistic. Sadly, yesterday for the first time I realised that my Mother is an old lady! My Mother needed support around the store, which took us a very long time to navigate. When we got back to her home she had to have a lie down as she was exhausted. What next I wonder? Am I worrying unnecessarily, is my imagination working overtime and why do I feel this tremendous guilt because I cannot spend more time with my Mother.
At this time of year I always start to get stressed about Christmas and this year its even worse than ever. We are due for a week in Dorset with Steve's family and I'm sure we will have a great time. I have asked my Mother to join us, but she doesn't want to and I know she wouldn't be happy surrounded by the 'Rickard's'. Denise has said that she will try and get down to spend Christmas with her, but Mum doesn't want that either!
My anxieties always arise around the present buying. I have had fun buying toys online for the two wee ones, but its everyone else I get in a stew about, particularly sons! I'd like to suggest a more charitable Christmas and if someone buys me a present from Oxfam, such as a goat or a health check for someone in a desolate part of the world I will be delighted!
I visited my friend Elaine in hospital yesterday, she has had a 'knee replacement', I'm glad that she seems to be making a very good recovery. She is in the RN hospital Hasler which sadly is closing soon!
2 comments:
I think we have unreasonable expectations about Christmas. When you and I were young Karen, it was a time when we had special food and sent cards to friends and rellies we only contacted once a year. The shops were well and truly closed for at least two days. In my family there was always a Christmas call to Canada!
But the truth is that today, I can eat the 'special' things all year round, and with the internet we can keep in touch with all the people we want to keep in touch with more easily and you can generally find a seven eleven open even on Christmas Day.
But we haven't changed our expectations. It's more difficult to find special foods for Christmas, we buy pressies for people who don't need things. You are worried that your mum will be alone at Christmas, because it's the one day of the year when no-one is allowed to just curl up in front of the TV with a microwave meal or read a book, or just be on their own.
I loved last Christmas because I was in the UK with the family, but I enjoy seeing the kids at any time of year. What made it really so much better for me was that we were so involved in Austen's church's celebrations, and we went a lot. It is a quiet and meditative church (which you know of course;) and I felt refreshed by it instead of stressed.
Maybe you should think about what you personally NEED from this time of year instead of what you feel you should do.
You speak such wise words Janis. Being with people I love and care about will make it special. Seeing the boys with their new & old cousin's will bring a lot of joy.
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